Hard Knocks

Been wanting to post for a long time, but never having the time or will to complete my thoughts which has been on my mind for a while now. Some days I just want to update on my current busy schedule, travelling a bit for work and home errands. If you follow my other blog, you probably know which countries I have been popping by; and possibly because of that, the blog is gaining traction and views.

In just 2 weeks

Just realised in a short 2 weeks since we moved, my wife figured out how to use the washing machine, dryer..without instruction manuals; and figured out how to cook a meal for 2 using a steamer. Now I feel so inadequate in the kitchen and have been banished to doing cleaning up duties. Haha...amazing for a lady who used to burn a brownie she was going to surprise me with when we were dating. I just figured out, how to use the Roomba and if prices of potato chips are cheaper in the Cold Storage opposite our home or NTUC down the road. Time to play catch up!

Love and Death

Recently, my wife asked me why did I choose her to love, to marry. As usual, without much thought I gave her the usual crap or diverting - "Married liao then you ask?" or political correct answers like - "Because you're smart, pretty, can take my crap etc...". But as how my blog goes, it gives me the time to reflect and iron out my thoughts during quiet times or idle times during work!

I've dated many many girls. From scientist to stewardess but rarely one could give me the "You are the One" feeling. My wife gave me another feeling that I've never felt before. A feeling that I realised no amount of rare whiskeys could drown me in, or any fast car could drive away, or no pair of shoes which I can run away with.

She made me not want to go on with life, if she goes before me. I could only imagine myself how lonely I would be if she is no longer in my life. I stared in actual blankness, darkness like a black hole, sucking away molecule by molecule.

All along, I thought I was strong, living by the rule "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Many times, I have been called heartless by many girls but the thought of ever losing my wife would probably crumble my world.

The One

Recently this question was brought up often especially from close friends who are still deciding if they wanna settle down and if the person they are with, is the one. How does one know?

What you mean to the other

Clark Kent and Lois Lane

I love Superman since I was a child. The concept of immortality and invincibility is just too cool for a boy, though he had weaknesses with Kryptonite and Lois Lane. Kryptonite is Superman's Achilles' heel, and very often used by his enemies to bring out his vulnerability, similar to Lois Lane. She is Superman's primary mortal love interest and quite often I wonder why a Super-being like him, doesn't date Wonder Woman, Supergirl (Superman's cousin) or some other less frail Super Hero.

Degrees of Love

There are varying degrees of love, quite often proclaimed in many different ways.

Proclaimed first: I Love You
Responses:
I Love You
I Love you very much
I Love you thissssss much (widen arms) and for wholeeee eternity
Me too
Ditto
Ok
Mmm...
Huh?

Sometimes you wonder why you go into extending measurements or quantifying something such as "LOVE".
It gives you highs and lows as according to 1) the shitty or wonderful day you are having at work; 2) responds to the better half's answers; 3) how sleepy or drunk your partner is; 4) how romantic you are feeling; 5) million and one other reasons...
Isn't it better to just leave things calm and simple. No simple harmonic motion, just a flat line when your answers will always be the same. That way, you will never wonder or question why today's I-Love-You is stronger/weaker than last week's response. Everything is in equilibrium.

Well, things aren't as simple as you wish it would be.

Hard Love

Now I know why Chinese love to drink Turtle soup.

They should have filmed all the way to the post-sex and see how the Tortoise react after the Wok "bochups" him!

Ruffling the leaves

 ruf·fle- An irregularity or a slight disturbance of a surface

Like what it meant, it was suppose to be a slight disturbance, nothing fancy or overstressed, just a slight ruffle of leaves. So what it did was to test some boundaries, evoke some thoughts and managed some expectations. Like a little whirlwind running through a town, you are not sure if it will grow into something stronger like a tornado and rip out everything. So it is important like I mentioned previously to have ruffles, to test that the doors, fixtures, establishments and fences that are in place are secured against strong winds. Over time you will have upgraded your straw houses into wooden ones and before you know it, into brick ones. So ruffling of leaves is an important activity; just remember to make sure at the end of the day...the magic stays.

Belonging to someone

Often wonder how worlds can revolve around each other and yet remain totally spinning on its own axis?

The return to normalcy as your sleeping time reverts; your weekly routines start to take shape with new timetables, and somehow realising you ain't missing much as schedules which went away isn't worth your time anyhow. What was seemingly important at a certain point in time, somehow isn't anymore.



Recent days have been great and you wonder how much happier you have become as past blog entries appear way too invested, too crappy. You start to have more days of wondering-how-could-24-hours-just-pass-like-that? Days like those could not have been possible...your usual skepticism has thinned within months and you have moments classified as nothing short of a miracle.

The careful slow steps you take is slowly leading up to a mad pace towards an imaginary finishing line which somehow seem unreachable...then you pause for sanity and start to breath deeper and ponder with walks of patience.

Over time, the perfection I once knew, erodes with the attrition of compromises, yet the inner stubborn nature never relented, praying and holding on. Then suddenly with a sneaky accurate strike of an arrow, hitting you in an unlikely fashion - you belong to someone...perfect.

Knowing someone

A friend shared this clip on Facebook and she said, "Not all girls are like that!"..well I think some of her friends think most Singaporean girls are like that. Well go watch this cute clip and tell me what you think?

In the end, I think it boils down on how well you know her and her background and what she is looking for in life. It's all about expectations and people do change in life, just make sure you can handle that expectation and know your other half very well before you even start (when I said other half, I meant the girl though I don't want to appear feminist but it is the fact of life that the male is expected to provide and not the other way around), else just throw the key to someone else! Because you might end up like the game character stuck with nowhere else to go, like how life is sometimes; once we start on mortgage payments, car financing, kids etc..you'll be stuck and lament on how your life would have been and by then, it would have be too late.

So this is me

Had a talk to our Spartan manager over MSN and he is planning to have everyone do the personality profiling like Myers-Briggs. So that we can all play better ball and understand each other during practise and games.
So this is me. And how I behave in relationships. 


Hmm..apparently I should date someone of the INTP, or the ISTP profile. Haha this is how engineers determine their prospective partners...

PS3 or a Girlfriend - Choose

Ok seriously my heart will break if a girlfriend breaks my PS3... This is why girlfriends and PS3 don't mix..haha
Unless you get a gamer girl..but seriously...on a safe side, no girlfriends when you are addicted to some cool game.

A nice Sunday stroll

Typically I think when I take trips abroad. It is good when you leave all inhibitions behind in Singapore and try to start on a fresh mindset. But strangely, last Sunday on my walk back from Bishan after a basketball game, I had some thinking done to straighten my mind out about a few remaining open topics. Perhaps it was the sunny blue skies which reminded me of the ones in Australia or USA.

Lies

Heard from a friend today about the perspective coming from the other side of my "hu ha" issue couple of years ago...I told her I don't really care and I do not have to justify myself...

The truth will reveal itself. Saw this quote on this forum talking about liars have more luck with women.

Women love lies.

And they even lie to themselves

Believe what your heart want to believe, for me I choose to have faith and trust until my eyes see it for themselves and in this case - prawn noodles reach closed doors.

Balloon

Having a feeling right now, which I cannot describe. Sort of a childhood flashback or a longing. I felt that I have finally lost my balloon, as it lifts higher and higher. Often I feel I would be somehow tall enough, smart enough to get it back, and that it will always be there floating near enough, but this time I really lost it. You look out into the skies and you see the balloon floating further and further away...as I stared up ahead and gripped my hand tight, I wished I had held on to it and never had let it go.

Finally

Thinking about it days and nights, often wondering when and how. It constantly flashed across my mind - Eventually it will come, just be patient. Many times, I rushed and failed. To sense and mind, a long-awaited maturity finally set in. When everyone around you has stopped playing and started shopping for prams and diapers; when raising families is a norm, it finally caved upon the puerile psyche.

Slowly, the unfolding starts, revealing parts of the unknown. Apprehensive over what might unfold, I stopped buying toys, shoes, unworn tees. Collections of alcohol, shot glasses, intricate toys, shoes I've amassed over the years stopped in its tracks wondering when I will ever get my own place to display them. Will I ever find "the one" who will accept the infantile?

All along it should never be an acceptance, but the growing out of an unacceptable state of mind. I realised the importance of what IFs and how it should BEs.

I finally know what I want. It's not about making choices or taking chances, it's about knowing what you want and accepting it. It's about knowing what you do not want and not accepting it. Yes, my mind is often in the state of uncertainty, flipping switches in states of 1 or 0.

In saying that I guess, I need to sort out my love life first. Which will lead me to setting up my own family, the part which I am missing and finally ribbing my brains out.

And in my family, rules have to be set. No tolerance of things I hate. If I can do it, why can't the person I choose to share my life with, have done it?

I detest :

1) gambling
2) smoking
3) cheating
4) sloth
5) greed
6) stupidity
7) impatience
8) bad sportsmanship
9) unfilial
10)untrust

Many of which I am guilty of myself and thus at times I do dislike what I have done. If you are a friend, acquaintance, hell-no do what you want. But if we are to be eternally fused together, going forward the feets have to be moving together. We have to be helping one another and understanding each other's limitations, fears, dreams, hopes and goals. So there is a need to know how it should be, how I need to get there.

For the last few years, realising what I have lost and what I want back and I can only reflect upon how did I lose it and how I need to change and improve myself. That's how it should be to lead me to the what if.

So for now, singlehood is a choice as I ponder if I should get my own place amidst such difficult times, but I do need to start living on my own and await the elusive "one" whom I believe will come in "her" own time. The only question that I will stumble over is what if "she" never comes. Only heaven knows.

Study: Men prefer being solo over a bad marriage

Reading this study... and speaking to most friends, I think it works for both men and women, but anyway check out the article here and interesting numbers below:

1) U.S. figures showed that in 1980 about 6% of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17%.
2) Online survey found there are three groups of bachelors -- about 8% who never want to marry, 62% want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30% who are on the fence.
3) 4 out of 10 bachelors did not want children compared to 3 out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.
4) While 72% of respondents said they were not afraid of marriage, about half of them said the situation that scared them most was marrying the wrong person.

By the way for those readers who were born from a totally different era from me, that's Han Solo in the picture, yes indeed he bears resemblance to Indiana Jones - both characters are played by Harrison Ford and yes that's about 30 years apart.
Well I wanted to use him to represent this topic because, yes his name is Solo and the fact that I will always remember this line from him in one of the Star Wars Prelogy “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.”

I think it's easier to kill or lose the girl than to like one. Many fans have singled out Han Solo as being cocky and bad-ass, yet sincere. No wonder he's always my favorite character.

Quotes for myself?...

Reflecting on my previous post, I wonder in the state that I am in, how could I still give advice to, or help someone else when I do not even know how to apply it to myself.

What would you say to a seemingly happy-go-lucky bochup optimistic guy, who has fallen into a state of being jaded over life and relationships; where meeting over 20 dates already, doesn't seem to have helped one bit. Distractions they might have been, but to look happy and smile but realised that for the past 10 months, there have been many ups and downs and perhaps more downs, which today happens to be a down. I also soon realised that perhaps it might lead to an unfair treatment of many friends and loved ones around me.

Today I came to know that I have been a "plastic cover", cold person to a colleague who just joined about 9 months ago. She told me thats how she thought of me till I stood up for her one day - an incident that I cannot recall. That's when she changed her opinion of me and I guess made me more approachable. I guess then it hit upon me how unfair it has been for some, that I got into this jadedness, and became the person I am not. And only some close friends know the "real" me.

I do apologise but its a lot harder than a simple ruckus that has happened and until I've reached the plateau where I find what I have lost, the preferred mode of travel would be cycling... alone.

Settle for less in love

Interesting read from a colleague sent out to ladies in the company...hehe

The sub note says :If you want a family, find a man and marry him. Don’t waste time waiting for the one, says this 40-year-old singleton

Full article is here.
Don't flame me..it was written by a woman!

Jokes for singles on a lazy Sunday!

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Hi...
Woman: Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.

Man: If I were to rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Woman: Yeah?! Well, if I were to rewrite the alphabet I would put F and U together.

Ok ok...seems like the woman is winning...here's some great comeback lines..

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."
The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said, you look fat in those pants."

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: Fine with me, I don't care where you go after we're done in the car.


Ok here's for those Chinese New Year/Family gathering moments (thank me later)

Top 10 answers to questions like theses: "Why aren't you married yet?" or "Why are you still single?"

Ans#1: I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
Ans#2: What? And spoil my great sex life?
Ans#3: Because I just love hearing this question.
Ans#4: Just lucky, I guess.
Ans#5: I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
Ans#6: I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Ans#7: I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Ans#8: My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
Ans#9: We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.
Drum roll....Ans#10: Oh you have not met Jane/James yet? (single ladies pls use Jane, James for single men)