Time - carpe diem

Love this tweet. Seriously time is precious and unique in any moment. It's how we treasure and make full use of it. Carpe diem.

Read more here

This is an awesome invention

I look forward to my return to cycling soon!

Sometimes Luck is all we need

Edinburgh 2011

While my wife is busy studying in the apartment, I was out taking a stroll to Holyrood Park.

Wish she was here with me. Taking pictures of couples enjoying the nice sunset in Edinburgh.

Love and Death

Recently, my wife asked me why did I choose her to love, to marry. As usual, without much thought I gave her the usual crap or diverting - "Married liao then you ask?" or political correct answers like - "Because you're smart, pretty, can take my crap etc...". But as how my blog goes, it gives me the time to reflect and iron out my thoughts during quiet times or idle times during work!

I've dated many many girls. From scientist to stewardess but rarely one could give me the "You are the One" feeling. My wife gave me another feeling that I've never felt before. A feeling that I realised no amount of rare whiskeys could drown me in, or any fast car could drive away, or no pair of shoes which I can run away with.

She made me not want to go on with life, if she goes before me. I could only imagine myself how lonely I would be if she is no longer in my life. I stared in actual blankness, darkness like a black hole, sucking away molecule by molecule.

All along, I thought I was strong, living by the rule "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Many times, I have been called heartless by many girls but the thought of ever losing my wife would probably crumble my world.

Buildings II

A follow up to my last building post which has been quite a while. The answer to the last post is Hong Kong..too easy. This time you don't even need to guess, the first picture has a BIG clue to where these are shots were taken.

The facade of this building attracted me.

Ministry of Culture and Communication.

This building just overwhelms me. Last time I saw it from the boat, this time I managed to walk in and explore.

The skies were looming, I just had to give it a bit of PS treatment to bring out the Notre Dame feeling.

It's impressive doors and arc front

Fantastic glass roof for a nice quaint shopping place.

For those having issues at work

Found this on the internet today...applicable at work, or in life. Especially those who got told off or knifed in the back by friends, someone or your boss at work.

Educated bastards

I once spend an afternoon advising a friend, who was contemplating in giving up a good opportunity at work versus studying for more qualifications. Despite knowing there isn't much more to learn in that paper chase compared to experience picked up from working. I am now telling myself if I should do the same, fighting against peer pressure, social norms and society's perception.

I would confidently say half the problems we have in this world today came from highly educated bastards.

While those that never graduated, skipped school gave us nice phones, great software etc.

Wither

I used to keep pretty looking leaves inside books, not as bookmarks but just hoping to hold on to them longer as they dry since they are so lovely. I would love to keep flowers the same way but very often when pressed, they lose their shapes and they usually stain as their colors fade into the pages.
From time to time, I would flip open the book and see the leaf has withered. The veins are the vascular tissue of the leave and they have interesting patterns much like our finger prints, and even more interesting when we look at it on a cellular scale. Leaves, like humans, actually shrivel and shrink in size as they wither. So it is interesting to occasionally flip open the pages to see the drying process as the colors disappear, the veins become more visible.

However, it isn't actually interesting to see a human wither and shrink in size as they start to pale. The flesh and fats slowly disappear as the food intake reduces, the skin slowly wrapping what's left revealing the skull outlines.

Very often it is heart-wrenching to see a love one lie in bed, not being able to do anything for him/her or at least you want to try but there is only so much you can do if you are caught in a "damn if I do, damn if I don't" situation. Prolonging the suffering or giving more time; to have the living keep their way of life or to have them dwell on what-ifs.

As we saw how Fiesty Charmaine's mother celebrate her death, we often wonder how much courage this woman has. She carried on living for her son, for her love ones. Her journey with Charmaine was tumultuous, nothing short of being a war on death, to prolong the inevitable. Her blogs are full of surprises and very often I wonder how she survived the ups and downs. The swings could easily kill the faint-hearted. Same as Steve Jobs' passing, we realised that lives are worth celebrating and everyone should live life to the fullest and fulfill your every wish/goal, so that there are no regrets; that the living can grow stronger celebrating one's past.

Grief yes, but don't let it keep you down from living through the withering process. Observe the journey of the veins and how interesting they were being part of your life - the living shall remember, shall grow and live on with memories.

What Transparency?

Here is a good article covered by Yawning Bread on Singapore's apparent lack of transparency.

Parliament sessions have started and PAPpy dogs are saying we should not fall into Europe's welfare system and see what is happening there now. Occupy Wall Street movement had a goal, to let governments know that Capitalists should not be the ones controlling the Government, their policies and the finance market. They resulted in losses which now is spreading across Countries with fingers pointed everywhere but themselves. Back are the huge bonuses and pay packages for these corporate jackasses, but more mortals are moving into the poverty line. Governments to blame or bankers? They are of the same breed.

PAPpy MPs are now defending policies but not reflecting on the failed investments made by our SWFs. As this turmoil unfolds, get ready to observe more of our Sillyporeans hard earned $$$ go up in smoke as China and India unfolds. Without transparencies, how can we be sure our own internal governance is doing work?

Time will tell. Let's just hope that when our time to retire, there is still CPF monies left.

NBA Lockout due to greed

From one of the best rebounder to ever play the game and also the reason for my nick and blog name - the worm himself commenting on the league lockout.

"Most players don't give a damn about the game," he said. "They want the money and all of a sudden they want unity. I'm not taking the owners' side. I think the players should look at themselves."

Read more. 

In these economic times, every man for himself. So we consumers have no basketball to watch?
Anyway I still think at least NBA players are not as Superstar attitude compared to soccer players. Soccer players salaries are also obscene with "gamblers" paying top notch for EPL and thus the root cause of making consumers pay so much to watch sports..Thank God stupid Singtel took EPL off the hands of Starhub and now we have cheaper NBA TV but damn, barely just a season, now no more NBA because of greed.
But luckily we still have ABL. And this season we have 3 more teams on board (Additional Thai and Philippines teams - San Miguel Beermen and Bangkok Basketball holdings and new Asean country Vietnam entrant Saigon Sports Academy) though Brunei Barrucudas pulled out, making it a 8-team league. Singapore Slingers are still playing and going into the 3rd ABL season since 2009. Well, let's hope they/ESPN broadcast these games given a probable no show from NBA.

Technology Cannibalism

In my earlier post on Steve Job's influence in today's well connect world, we see his wildly popular gadgets slowly killing off many other devices and businesses.

Here's an article talking about the end of digital compact cameras akin to the end of photo developing studios, or CD shops and bookstores. Perhaps one day, everyone will be working for Apple as its shares continue to grow and outstrip Dow Jones.

http://www.dpreview.com/articles/9890146101/how-smartphones-are-changing-digital-photography

For now I am staying on the dark side - as much as I love to adopt and go with the norm, my mind always sticks to David, and silently cheering on the underdogs or those who support open-source. Like all my political post goes - Transparency at the end of the day, is the only real truth.

Here is more alternative news of late on the dark side of Steve - not everyone thinks he is visionary.

http://ecocentric.blogs.time.com/2011/10/06/the-dark-side-of-steve-jobss-dream/
http://www.thedrum.co.uk/news/2011/10/08/26940-the-other-side-of-steve-jobs-how-he-neutered-the-free-press-/
http://gawker.com/5516149/the-dark-side-of-steve-jobs

Not just the Chinese.

The Chinese are saddened by Job's passing and are displaying bratty characteristics. But I think it's not just isolated to China.
The Daily Illini :: What Jobs’ death means to the Chinese

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iBye Steve

This man brought about change in a world which noone else has done before - in terms of making the world more savvy, more demanding.

I am not an Apple fan, though I have been willing to try. Had 2 Shuffles, thinking it would make good jogging companions, both died at very young age compared to my China made replacement or even the small capacity 1st generation Thomson or Creative MP3 players, which are still working well after over 10 years? But my iPhone 2G is still in existence, perhaps now a valuable antique sitting on my iPhone compatible speaker.

Yes, Steve was not a Green conservationist unlike Sony who led the world on a Green Partner movement, making all their suppliers "Green" friendly. Yes, Steve was more concerned with making things for the masses, so that people can afford made cheap iPhones, iPod players, though many would think otherwise. But seriously think about what you can do with your mobile device, MP3 players or tablet now, and effectively people are buying less handheld gaming devices, compact cameras, GPS, laptops, even CDs etc  - Steve killed PSP, NDS, Netbooks and a slew of other gadgets as well as bookstores and CD shops. He made every other mobile maker especially Nokia to wake the hell up and rethink their own slogan - Human Technology.

Steve also drove the suppliers' margins, making his army of gadgets in China out of factories which drove many employees to commit suicide. His fault? But it is the very same factory that churns out your HP/Dell laptops etc. Why has the price of your technology gadgets never seem to rise despite all the new features? Why does it seem that newer gadgets seem to have shorter shelf lives? Well something has to give in order to cater to our cheap replaceable consumerism attitude of late, which mobile phones are accessories which are changed on a yearly, for some - it is a monthly basis. We've even heard of young kids selling their organs, or prostituting themselves just to pay for the latest iPad.

These cannot be Steve's fault -  it is the evolution of consumers these days, be it gadgets, technological devices, even clothing, shoes etc. It is the high pace life we have chosen to live by, and the importance we have placed on these silly "things". So no blame should come to Steve, because in the end he did make the world a savvier place - people are more connected; musicians are finally paid for easier music downloads, companies are making easier-to-use devices; life somehow seems more innovated with a focus on simplicity and catered to the masses. People are more demanding wanting things to be like Apple gadgets, is the touchscreen as sensitive and nice like the iPad? Is the phone as thin as the iPhone 4? The list goes on.

He made everyone - Think Different.
Now go revolutionize heaven so that mortals can wake up and think different.

My real wedding speech

I took a long time to pen my sister's wedding speech from a "protective" brother, and during that unexpected long speech in her NY wedding, I realised it was close to my heart and everyone could relate to it. But for my very own, I was too busy, too tied up and too nervous that I never found the right time and right settings to write a good speech for my wife, my family, my in-laws and my friends who have been just fabulous throughout my journey in life.

Taken in our Vienna suite

It has been said that a journey is best measured in friends rather than miles. I have been lucky to have a horde of good, no, great friends. Through my many ups and downs, I remembered who was there for me to go through the sorrows, and through the best of times. So it was that selected 10 brothers, that I chose to be there with me during my happiest period. Though I really did not want to trouble anyone, I knew they were sincerely happy for me. My nature of not wanting to trouble anyone as much as I could and do everything on my own, gave way to wanting to share my joy with them and of course, giving them the chance to "do me in" during my wedding night as payback to what I have inflicted on them during their wedding night, though they did already have many stag nights in my name. I'm glad they had their fun and I had the chance to experience being completely blacked out waking up with some form of short term amnesia for about 5 hours.

Now moving on, I would like to thank my family especially my parents who have been steadfast in their love for me over the years. Their many forgetful moments, their many embarrassing shortcomings; would never take away the fact that they have been the best parents one could have. My father's 'kan cheong' nature often pushed me to be punctual, hardworking, yet never taking life head on without learning to enjoy it. My mom's perfectionist nature required me to be seizing life everyday yet I have to take care of my health with countless concoctions of bittergourd, cinnamon, vitamins etc. She also taught me to be generous, to be thoughtful yet never having to back down and let someone take advantage of me, I guess they molded me into somewhat the person I am today. I am thankful and I hope I can finally say I am an adult now, so take a seat and let me take care of you two now, but the cooking is still up to both of you..until I have my own kitchen or my wife miraculously learned how to cook over the next few months.

And next on the thank you list would be my in-laws, who have brought up my wife to be in many ways perfect in my eyes. Though my mother-in-law often cautioned me about her daughter's "imperfections" and to wary of her in many ways. But somehow I guess that's what strict and good parents' do, always pushing their kids to be the best and that's why I have such a wonderful wife. Thank you Papa, Mummy, I will do my best to take care of her now.

My wife, often so busy especially at work and now studying for her exits; actually left me totally in charge of the wedding though she would adopt the supervisory role - giving approving and disapproving looks or commands. But that goes to show that she is often so understanding despite our busy schedules and never needing to extend the ball and chain when the chain is somehow long enough for me to go for basketball nights, whiskey nights etc. Maybe it's because she is so busy or perhaps she is ever so trusting and knows where I am and who I am with. In that many ways I think she is indeed perfect - perfect that I never feel the need to change her besides the fact that she often self-medicates and I'd have no say in it. She is capable, smart, pretty and in many ways ideal to our lifestyle, or my lifestyle - without the need to change much besides the list her friends made me promise during gatecrashing - that is a whole different story.

My wife somehow can understand me without me speaking coherently, more often she knows exactly what I am about to say. Somehow in my finite world, I finally understood what they meant by soul mates. Through infinite possibilities, the future I was waiting for - finally came. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for marrying me.

Thank you all for coming to share with us our joys and our path of a hopeful, infinite happiness. Have a great evening.

A Wonderful Surprise

Still can't believe it's over and our friends did this performance for us as a surprise! Everyone loved it!


Glee - Video Marry You HD (wedding cut) from GùiFún on Vimeo.

When you've made it

Having a headache from all the planning and last minute changes on top of a tough scrabble game and an impending day of interviews for my new staff. Need a break...
Thought this was cool and a reminder of how I thrice tried to start my own company.
The difference between working up the corporate ladder versus starting your own company...

The first time you've met someone

In life, we are all beleaguered by difficulties. But love always seems to level things up and make it all pretty again.
Still remember the first time you've met someone that set your heart fluttering? And sometimes you wonder what they were doing before both of you met? It will be cool sometimes to see life in split screens.

Trying days

Manage expectations. Life is never going to be a bed of roses...every single day. Every step of the way is a journey...expect ups and downs, expect setbacks... promotions, backstabs, spirit lifts, resignations, betrayals, surprises, sickness, deaths, marriage, births...expect the unexpected.

Sometimes, little reminders of how fragile life is or how crazy the work place has been with disappointing staff, or how bosses are using us as pawns - the situation they put you in does help you to think in bigger perspective that it is better now than later; how we should take stock and see what's important in life. 

So often we get caught up in work, we lost track of what's more important than...perhaps that report you are typing at the moment; than that birthday you had to miss. We have to prioritize and know eventually, we all will go someday - Carpe Diem and do your best mentally and wholeheartedly.  

So in my most trying days, I think about how life is treating me now. I think about my loved ones, friends and look back in life and start my climb back up. Work on life, work on the little details like earning respect, be more passionate, exercising, remembering to write a note or spending some time with our love ones and remind myself to forget about the dollars and cents and smell the roses - Money isn't everything, we all can't take it away with us when we lie stricken sick in bed.

3 reminders to get me through life.

1. Seize the day (Carpe Diem)

2. No regrets

3. What doesn't kill you only makes your stronger

I hope these reminders work for you too, now get your butt off the floor and move on.

A Tony Bennett night

It's been a while since I had a bad day...
Tonight will be a Tony Bennett night as I indulge in my new jazz CDs...all 3hrs 9mins and 10secs of them

Buddies

As I start the big countdown, I realised that besides adversities, even through joy we can find out who are our true friends. It is often easier said than done that friends who stood by you when you are down are your best friends, friends you can count on. But lately, I find it even harder to find friends who are truly happy for you, and who share your joy with you.

I am glad to know I have lots of great friends who share my joy and have always been there for me. They say life isn't complete without friends, I am glad I have many great  buddies. Now all I wish is that they will spare me and I am truly sorry I was damn happy for their wedding and thus they got dead drunk and the toilet bowl was their best friend for their big night. :P

Letting go

My smurf and Playmobile collection which I am reluctant to throw away.

As I began packing my room, I realized that the only way to make space is to throw out my horde of old toys and reminders of my childhood like books, drawings and notes. These fond memories are hard to let go as I remembered how they have served me; played by my imagination; accompanied me on my loneliest rainy days and even jogged the fragments of good parenting for me, despite the nagging folks 'cheering' me on to discard them. But I guess that's why there's an old Chinese saying 'if the old don't go, the new can't come'.

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Undue worries

Worrying too much? Why? Past experiences, insane fears?

There is always an fear for the unknown, and even for the expected.
I guess that's what keeps you alive...to be filled with hope amid the fears because somehow somewhere I know you are here in my life.

Counting down.

What a surprise

What a surprise when your buddies turn up in Taipei to party with you... :)
Not nice when they start eating and drinking at the hotel even before my arrival and tried charging to my room...haha

Just different.

Somehow the view is different when you have noone special to share with...that's life when you are no longer alone. Missing you in Zurich

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Hello Paris!

Love my escargots...

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Hailstorm in Salzburg!

Luckily managed to take cover!

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Updates for the month

It's been awhile since I posted updates on my life...just too hectic but it has been an interesting week. First, I realised how wonderful my gf is after witnessing how women treat their men/bfs these days in public.

Secondly, learnt from my secondary school gathering that my secondary school form teacher, Mr Leong; who was also my English language and Literature teacher, named his dog after me..FML! Seriously, it was named after me and not because my name is nice etc. My fave facebook status comment so far... I am officially the teacher's pet. I guess I should have been nicer to him when I was in class but he was a great teacher, my fav in fact.

Planking is stupid

Not sure what the craze is about...but planking is really stupid.

Planking from 5-Second Films on Vimeo.

Thank God none of my friends are doing it...else I would really kick them!

What lies ahead

Back to Europe

After 2 years...it's back to Europe! More castles, trains, and amazing scenery - so more photos and hopefully no more missed train rides! Been planning for weeks now, not really looking forward to the long train rides. Revisiting my UK photos to see how I can improve for the upcoming trip with my new photography gears. Realised I have yet to finish viewing my photos taken back in 2009. So here are some pictures of UK in black and white.

Thank you for the hope and awakening

Unbelievable but the tiny steps for democracy and change is finally coming. Salute to PM Lee.
I guess in some ways, our MIW should be very happy - there is now little talk of apathy in our young Singaporeans and if such videos exist - it only means Singapore has hope to go further.

Worker's Party win Aljunied GRC and Hougang SMC from Repro on Vimeo.

Thanks to all opposition parties and their candidates and supporters for everything...and now for election withdrawal symptoms.

Why Men Love Gaming More than many other things...

Having a shitty night, so wanted to play my PS3..it has been a long time since I touch that black lean machine. Gaming is such a good escape, and you now know why most men play it...and I've been at it since early 1980s when my dad got me my first gaming console - Atari. Kudos to Nolan Bushnell who co-founded Atari back in 1972. Read this article about his ideals, cool shit.

“When I hired engineers and people on the creative side, I never looked at their grades,” he said, referring to the teams he built at Atari and beyond. “I interviewed them strictly on their hobbies, and if they did not have a hobby in technology I wouldn’t hire them….

I bet I'll get hired. It's so easy to conjure out 10 good reasons why men love gaming...easier than well, a lot of other things non-important style.

1) Because you can always restart the game if it goes wrong. Slightest itty bitty wrong step, restart...no problems asked, no worries.

2) A good game is smart - knows that if it is too difficult, noone wants to play it; and if it is easy, gamers find it no kick. Basically it coded in degrees of difficulty at the right time with the correct adequate training. Basically hardly any sudden surprises that throws off your ego and makes you want to throw the game away.

3) It builds up men's ego, top scores or completing a game makes one feel accomplished. Perhaps a short term goal which seemingly makes that $80 you spent on the game worthwhile.

4) It is easily understood, perhaps because most programmers are men. There is no need for complicated instruction manuals, no need to take a class to complete a game. Basically not much effort is needed besides trying.

5) There is hardly any pressure. The only reason why you want to play that game, is because you want to. Nothing else, no pressure whatsoever.

6) You do not have to attend game forum, or groupie discussions, or game clubs etc. You only attend it because you want to improve, learn more and not because you have to rub shoulders with everyone else in order to do well in the game.

7) Because the game will never tell you to stop having fun. The very purpose of the game is to have fun, to loosen you up, to chill you off from all the pressure you are already getting at work and at home. It gets you away from the mundane life you are already having.

8) The game will not mind if you are yelling at it because you've just lost a game and you feel shitty making that one wrong move that cost the game but you can do better next time. There is no game nagging at you to admit you made a wrong move and it wants you to admit your mistake and eat your ego for breakfast and die and repent NOW.

9) The game allows you to cool off, pause, take a walk, think about things, sleep on it, do some research on the next best move...take a month off pondering about nothing at all. No explanations needed.

10) You can love your game and have your peace as well, you can turn off the game without guilt.

Time for some space out time. I'm out.

The view from 81 stories up at Bangkok

Greetings from Baiyoke Sky Hotel in Bangkok!

Annual Photography trip with my ex-colleagues. So far it has been a day of great shots. More coming soon.

So what happened?

I was less than happy that the election results turned out that way..yay we won a GRC but now what? 7% representation for a 40% support in opposition parties? Anyway now that we have Michael Palmer, a minority winning in a single member ward, yes please let's do away with the gerrymandering GRC scheme. Yes it is a scheme, to allow people like Tin Pei Ling to be a Member of Parliament though easily 99% of the population would want her out.

So what really happened? A 6% negative swing despite 1.9mil citizens voted with almost all constituencies contested? That goes to show only 3 things...Singaporeans really like to complain, if things are really that bad why did the results turned out the way it is? Secondly, we are still afraid...the fear in civil service, the fear of asset prices collapsing..fear in every corner and crack of our society - how else can you explain why in almost every GRC or SMC, we have about 2% in spoilt votes? Some of which can change the outcome of the results. Lastly, the outreach of new medias, social media isn't entrenched enough...we are not able to enforce change unlike in the USA. Yes, we too have celebrities supporting for opposition, but we do not have independent TV news, TV networks, radio stations etc...in other words - the reach is still limited. Yes, perhaps we should self-fund radio stations, or newspapers etc and all we need is readership, listeners in numbers...but oops our radio waves are controlled, print media too is limited and let's not talk about Television..so we have only the internet to turn to. Until our parents and their parents turn into online news or YouTube for information, we are pretty much limited in our choices.

So what other factors could have come into play? New citizens? Old people who are confused on gratitude with servitude? Old man's words of repent or threats? Whatever the case, we lost the chance for change...seriously come 2016, do you think it will be better? Do you notice the branding issue here in elections? The men in blue attracted all voters from all over Singapore only to have them not listening to their own candidates, and very often you hear people saying - 'Why my area is not Worker's Party but XXX' ; or 'My candidate not so good lar, but if MyLow stood here, I will guarantee vote for him!' Do they even know the party's manifesto, what they are standing for and how about the incumbent? Some do not even know who their PAP candidate is! It has become a branding and likely a marketing issue at the elections. Well, what's done is done, I hope at the end of it all, the incumbent knows the reason for the decreased votes and popularity and try to do what's best. And I won't mind if they steal some of the oppositions' ideas and their detailed manifesto and look into it. In the end, we all want to do the best for the people - be it a million or two difference into the bank accounts. All I can say, I think some things will never change and I am reserving a few 'I told you so' to some friends of mine. I am happy though, on finding out how those closed to me have voted decisively and wisely.

And yes, thanks to all the candidates and their helpers, polling agents etc. Be it whichever party, thanks for giving us a choice and woke up some Singaporeans from their slumber.

Majulah Singapura.



This is the kind of candidates that PAP bring into Parliament based on GRC...and let' not forget Kate Spade!

This is it - May 7th

No fear...vote calmly, wisely and courageously.

Told myself to watch this just before elections...

Good night Singapore...Majulah Singapura...

Elections taking a toil

Woken up by my best friend for breakfast, I was unable to get back to sleep. The sleep that I needed, with all the unsettledness in my head, as I get more and more weary from the elections. Friends are telling me it's only an election, why get so worked up...but in my humble opinion, I feel it's not just an election this time round and perhaps I am taking it harder than I should as the opposition have given it - all or nothing. But this is about the future of my country, the future of my 'future' children's lives, shouldn't I be more concerned? So here pens my heartfelt feelings I have been having for the longest time...pardon my grammatical errors as my English language has remained in the doldrums for quite some time.

Last night I had a major quarrel with my wonderful girlfriend who was an apolitical Singaporean trying her best to make sense of it all during this General Elections. Her courage to be involved, to understand, to read up and to even generate feelings about the need to be less apathetic despite her busy schedule, seem to stem from my disgust on the prospect of her voiding her vote. This once in a blue moon phenomenon of being able to vote somehow meant to me more than many others around me. Many friends have shown disgust they have over the brutal Facebook news feed from their friends, including myself, who seemed to be caught up in the new 'coolest' activity of attending rallies and posting up political blogs biased against the incumbent ruling party. They seem to think they know better, or that they have better things to do then to bother about this once in every five years event. But that's exactly the problem we have, many have no longer felt the need to decide on things, we are all fine being spoon fed the news we all 'should' read. My one vote wouldn't and shouldn't count for anything.

Since primary school days, I was taught to read the newspapers. My parents taught me that I need to be kept abreast with the current affairs, to be aware of what's happening around us, to sing my National Day songs proudly and to take heed of our well-esteemed then-Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew - that is why I chose to become an engineer, taking heed of our PM's vision. My parents never taught me to seek an alternative view, never to go search for the truth, but as obedient citizens with subservient attitudes growing up studying, working hard and always to toe the line and be afraid of the big scary police man. The search for the Singapore dream was as wonderful as the American dream for many abroad in the 90s. To own a home in my country, to be prideful of our Number 1 Airport, efficient port and spanking clean subway system as well as our national service which I have dutifully done for 2.5 years and the ongoing NS reservist of up to 40 days a year. Because in my younger days I remembered my dad coming home in green fatigues and I want to be just like him, serving my nation. The sense of pride somehow seem to be eroding over the past 5-10 years.

My recent in-camp-training in Feb revealed fellow Singaporeans' unhappiness. Over the need to come back to serve while their jobs are on the line, fighting with foreigners who do not have obligations that take them away for up to 40 days a year. I am sure many of my civil service friends should have no problems with that, having 'understanding' employers. But for me, an American firm with my HR based in HK, I had a hard time trying to convince my American bosses that I am needed to defend Singapore. Yet I will finish my work as I rushed home after reservist working from dinner til 2am during my reservist period and driving back to camp at 6am the next day. It's like I was never gone from work, just 12 hours late. Oh and my leave application has to be filed under Jury duty.

The fear of losing my job to a foreigner without such obligation grows stronger as America is going through a transformation to shed expensive employees even if they are true blue US citizens, in order to meet nice Wall Street numbers to shore up the stock prices. I left my last employer, also an American company who did just that - cost cutting despite making record profits, that is the hard fact of being in the semiconductor manufacturing industry. That's the stress me and my fellow industry colleagues have to deal with, the feeling of being dispensable; and that drives us to work harder, be more efficient and knowing what our bosses wants...on the fly. I ran out of movie theatres to receive my US calls, I hid in toilets, left friends' weddings, gatherings to hold conferences which goes from 10pm - 3am. That is the hard truth of Singaporeans working harder and longer hours. Is that not enough? This Singapore dream somehow appears very different from the ideas I've conjured up when I was 21, embarking on my tertiary education. Perhaps I am in the wrong line? Perhaps...

I am not a xenophobic and even more so less of a racist. I need to get that off my chest, seriously. I recently had a big quarrel with my best Indonesian-ex Singapore PR-now Australian buddy who flew in to visit his Singaporean fiancée and for a job interview. He was calling me a racist, and it hurts. It hurts because I was only trying to help. The background is that he was trying to find a job here back in Singapore, after giving up a good job 10 years ago while he was a Singapore PR. He had to leave because the Australian government forced him to make a choice, you come back here or you lose your PR. My friend studied in Singapore for close to 10 years, he studied in Australia for less than 5. But somehow he knew the life in Australia is more appealing and PR status was harder to get. Well to cut the long story short, he is now an Australian citizen, why not a Singaporean citizen instead though he has more friends here, that decision was his. And the advice which sparked it all was that it's no longer easy to get a well paying job here in Singapore. We now need to compete globally as our government introduced many 'talents' here and the ease of getting work permits or PR is astounding and I went on to say even Singaporeans have hard time looking for decent paying jobs which can help pay off  'affordable' housing and the cost of living here. Well, he has a house mortgage back in Australia to pay off, and I believe the salary range that he seeks, might be tougher than it seems. Luckily for him, his freehold house in Australia costs less than some of our public housing HDB here in Singapore. Anyway I wish him all the best.

The stark reality is our foreign immigration policy is straining everyone, and it's making every Singaporean here, who name calls Ang Moh or Ah Tiongs, seem so racist and it's creating a bad image for Singapore. Last night I attended a WP's rally in Serangoon. I see Singaporeans of all races on the field and in the stands, I see a lone Indian man waving the WP flag as Low Thia Khiang makes his speech in Chinese, patiently waiting for some word he could understand so that he can clamour upon and wave this flag harder. I see the wave of Chinese Singaporeans quietly listening to Mohd Faisal make his speech in Malay for a good 5-10 mins and yelling in agreement when he switches to English. Singaporeans are not naturally racist, noone is. We are warm hearted people who chose to donate millions after millions in NKF funds, in Suzhou earthquake funds and even for Japan in the recent Tsunami/Earthquake disaster. Simple minded some would call us, but we are warm hearted people in general. We have all become angry not with the people but with something else. What else? I believe we all know better.

My hairdresser is a Chinese, picky as I am (I've had about 5 hairdressers in my over three decades of hair growth and I pray for at least two decades more), I am a perfectionist and this lady is considered talented in my humble opinion. I would drive 20km all the way to Bedok South just to get my $4.50 hair cut, knowing the petrol would cost more than my haircut. Usually if I am not rushing for time, I would ask her to wash my hair so I can pay her $15 to justify her 'talent' in making me look like a Korean pop star...(my girlfriend agrees). My mechanic is a Malaysian, he is humble and brilliant with my engine. Very often I would buy him green tea as he works on my difficult ride and often slip $10 into his hand as he only charges me $10 for oil change and helps me check on my other issues in that hour of servicing. I too deemed him as a talent despite him being considered as a blue collared worker. I have very good friends on and off the basketball courts, I have colleagues whom I work hand in hand with, resolving balls-cracking issues, many of whom are Malaysians, Filipinos, Swiss, Irish, Americans, Indians, Chinese, Hongkongers etc. I find each and everyone of them talented in their own ways and I thank them all for contributing to our country.

But the problem here is not them, the problem here are the policies affecting not just Singaporeans but also foreigners alike. Those who are renting here, they also face the increasing rental costs, the same kopi we drink, the same chicken rice we eat, the same squeezy MRT and buses we take. We are all affected. I have had many friends (foreigners or Singaporeans) leaving Singapore because it's just too expensive or the standard of living has somewhat degraded from the elusive/promised Swiss standards. We need our government to build enough flats, enough road capacities, enough transportation before they open the floodgates. The longer time to get to work, is affecting not just Singaporeans, it's affecting everyone else. The unnecessary frustrations are getting to everyone. Rich or poor, the jams, floods or increasing cost of living gets to everyone on this island. I have helped out in orphanages, in old folks homes and even in soup kitchens for foreign worker manned by rich tai tais and retired uncles who have the time..These volunteers even face public lashback on why we are helping these foreign workers and not fellow Singaporeans. Calls at night screaming at them...but these foreign workers are also humans who have been hurt by our government policies. I am sad and ashamed to say my life has been filled up with work and house searches, I have recently stopped going to help. But I try my best to contribute in other ways.

The policies implemented forced families to move to parks only to be forced into homes away from public scrutiny without the freedom to go out to find work or beg. The casinos have in the short period of operation, have caused broken families, gamblers to jump off buildings with their family members..etc. Yes they could have easily lost the same amount in cruise ships or a trip up to Genting Highlands or even illegal gambling houses located all over the island. But to open a casino in our backyard is standing for something else altogether. Our government policies have left many wondering what has improved for the past 5 years, why are carrots suddenly popping out all over the island except Tanjong Pagar? This gerrymandering has to be illegal in some sense? Yes I know this is how politics work, but is this how a 'first world' nation is suppose to be? Sad to say, don't be naive. Noone will roll over and die, and we cannot expect the ruling party to just get up and go, and let the opposition take over their seats. Fact of the matter is we now see how competition is necessary, how the fear of losing has got many to admit their mistakes and trying their best to please the people, how a multi party system can only work to the benefit of the people.

The stigma of being labelled opposition is terrible in Singapore, the waving of a NSP or WP flag can only happen in rallies, but once we move out of our comfort zone we get ostracised. It's like the only color that can exist in Singapore is white. Is political diversity a need or a want? Why can't we all respect each others decision and agree that we are all pro-Singaporeans? Sadly to say, we have a long way to go as a nation. And that is why I am feeling less and less proud to be a Singaporean.

To sum up, we all have our choices in life, some choose to not rock the boat, some choose to be happy campers and sit on the fence, some choose to be radicals, some choose to void their all important votes. I should stop being an ass and let everyone decide for themselves, as long as they have considered all factors. To each their own...in a crossroad, we all decide our fates. I just hate to say 'I told you so' after the election. Oh and for my supposedly 'friends', please don't call me a hypocrite just because I still empathise with people around me, or that I am doing well because I work hard for it/I am talented/I totally deserve it and I get freebies. These are two separate matters.

In the end, I agree with Mr Chen Show Mao's short but 'co-driver smacking' worthy speech last night. Take heart, have courage and use your head. Decision is all yours, just make sure it's your decision and you have made all the educated considerations.

All or nothing

Here we go...it's all on the line. Either we have change, be it a revolution or incremental baby steps - otherwise we lose it all. Somehow the pessimistic me, believe we will lose it all. Just worried about the consequences...just want my future children to no longer have the fear I see in many of my friends right now.

In 5 years time, more of those who are able would have migrated, many who gave it all from the false internet fervor might have given up. The unfortunate color of being anything else but white would have proven there are only 2 groups of intellectuals. One of whom will not give up their ultimate hold despite knowing it's for the best, one of the other who knew they gave it all..but the citizens have spoken..so at what price did they suffer? Despite all the sacrifices, the dull and apathy would never understand...all they seem to be saying is shut up..it's only election; or stop complaining, want change? Don't just whine, go do something...

Well to my less receptive friends, talking to friends face to face or posting up links on Facebook or making a stand, putting out statements and thinking about something IS doing something. So bugger off, for I am a citizen of this country and I did my part for this country; I am nothing but Pro-Singapore...and I have considered every single detail with my fullest knowledge for a long long time. I have my rights, and so have you, and I choose to make my vote count for something.

This is a great article..I will put it out in full for posterity sake:

Loving Election Period

It is only during election period we have wonderful productions from locals like Mr. Brown (MB has too many to link here, please go to his website) and fellow creative bloggers. Take this video for example... brilliant though I prefer a sweeter voice... ;P



The other interesting take during this election is that netizens seem to be bolder and ruling parties seem to be scrambling and fumbling like they have been napping far too long in parliament. They simply fail on the Social Media front. They should give up trying...it can sometimes be utterly embarrassing to us Sillyporeans and we might just end up voting calmly, and way too wisely.

I think PAP's getting embarrassed that NSP's Nicole Seah can get 20k 'Facebook Likes' in matter of a weekend so they need to resort to creating fake accounts to go about liking PAP pages...just wondering how much they pay to maintain their own little 'Facebook Likes' army?

This is going around Facebook at WP fan page - titled Angry Beople..creative lar this Singaporean. Shall not sabotage him in case ISD comes knocking on his door, though I give Mr Seah credit and I add his disclaimer. Disclaimer: This creation is solely created for Entertainment purposes. Do not sue me because I am very poor.

Finally...a shoebox to call my own

After all the months of looking...finally :)

I repeat nothing is more important than the heart and intention

In the end, what's most important is the heart and intention, nothing else matters. Some claim execution, some claim leadership are equally important. That argument is going back to the fact we need elitist, people who are deemed talented; only the esteemed in their field should perform the job. This is civil service, we don't really need doctors, lawyers or 27-year old CONsultants to serve the people. We must understand there is an intricate system in the ministries which are already filled with scholars and lots of experienced civil servants who are doing actual work.

Let's do a case study on the Titanic, classic example of failed leadership and arrogant yet ignorant execution. Titanic's Captain Smith was on a maiden voyage on the Titanic and going to New York was his final retirement trip.  He was headed for the easy life, steering the most advanced ship in its time - indestructible; unsinkable so they say. No one is sure why he ignored seven iceberg warnings from his crew and other ships.  Responsibility can’t be ignored or delegated.  Leadership is to be responsible for everything an organization does or fails to do. If the heart and intention is in the wrong place, no matter what track record one holds or how brilliant you are in execution, the complacency will somehow fail you in ways you would never have expected. Just as in the battle between David and Goliath, they say that sometimes God chooses our battles and our ends.

If your heart is true and intended for the people, how far can one go wrong? Do not judge other countries, unless you've studied their history and culture well. The only difference I see would be Sillyporeans are obedient repressed farks who love status quo unless provoked.

Sick of all these election talk and apathetic ground, I can't wait for voting day to come and get over and done with. We all know the eventual results. I leave you with one important message and some pictures I took last year but never had the time to share.

First they came for the communists,and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.

 By German Pastor Martin Niemoller, who first supported Hitler's rise to power and regretted his decision, and we all know how that ended. Blind faith in a excellent leader and executor as well as executioner - responsible for all 46 million lives lost.

Let's work together, team A or B - we're Vietnamese

The road to change is long

Here's me longing for more photography - fark politics!

I just want a simple life and finally understood why ignorance is bliss.

I stand corrected

The feeling of being wrong is terrible. It's worse when it brings about fear in others. No one can be 100% cock sure about everything, not even if you have an IQ of 180 or have so far possess a 100% track record. Is that possible? Even our well-esteemed Minister Mentor God stands corrected for statements made in his latest book - Hard Truths.

There is this analogy about how if one fell into an open sea and if there are possible sharks lurking around, one should stop moving and remain calm. The open seas akin to our political world and the oppositions are like sharks sensing fear in the water and once the blood is spilled, an entire army will follow. Confidence is everything even if we are wrong, just deny everything.

That explains why we never have statements like I am sorry I was wrong about floods which come only once in every 50 years or I apologise for losing billions of our taxpayers monies. But instead we have, I stand corrected or it was an honest mistake, let's move on.

There has to be a reasonable explanation into why some decisions are made and ended up badly. But should we then have to explain everything? Would it be hard to make any decisions at all; or would it end up worse once confidence in others have been shook? This appearance of being strong possibly came about when one has been living in an ivory tower or has been in power for far too long.

If we acknowledge the fact that noone is perfect and we all are allowed to make wrong decisions, it might be easier to swallow and let live. Some national policies or even a house purchase might fall short of perfect. One can never know of the timing, one can never be cock sure about everything. That is how fallible mere mortals are. We are not Gods, and even Gods make mistakes. There is why we have to acknowledge why it is necessary to have a 2-party rule. Democracy is necessary in our government, and even more so in our daily lives. Perhaps sometimes, we have been happily living in our own ivory tower by ourselves for far too long; sometimes we forget that someone of equal or even higher calibre exists and comes along. We have to learn to consult, to draw an optimal between too much or too little consulting so as to make reasonable quick decisions on important issues akin to government decisions being made on a national level in Singapore compared to let's say USA which has too many layers of approvals needed. Obama has to fight through the Senate, the Congress, the House of Representatives; Supreme Courts, Federal Courts etc... It might take years just to implement policies to tackle social reforms which is much needed now.

Democracy doesn’t only have to be about big things, it can be about small things too. And I acknowledge Team A doesn't know everything and I welcome Team B into my life..the beginning of a beautiful albeit a possible tumultuous journey. I stand corrected.

The One

Recently this question was brought up often especially from close friends who are still deciding if they wanna settle down and if the person they are with, is the one. How does one know?

Elections Fever

Have you been caught up in elections fever of late? Men in White seems to enjoy shooting themselves in the foot.
Be it Kate Spade or Doctors confusing National Service with saving kids' lives on a paid occupation.

I can hardly wait for more boo hoos from the Cabinet Ministers. Those days spent sleeping in parliament or out spending $50k on Paris cooking lessons is finally showing. I love how with Kate Spade young girl being introduce by the PAPys, we now have gotten more of apathetic women crowd involved.

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. ~ Abraham Lincoln.

As you can tell the Men in White no longer have monopoly over talents as we have more good men on the other side making sacrifices to bring our country on track where GRCs, estates upgrading and Boundary changes are nothing but a scam. The Gen Y and Zs are starting to peel off the blinkers and see how we all have been hoodwinked. And oh yeah...I love social media...people in White sucks at it.

Loving Tron

Look what flew in from SF today... can't bear to rip them open.

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Note to self - 3

It's been a long time since I found some words meaningful to daily living.


Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of  life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some  days you're the statue.

*  Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat  them.

*  Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
Recalled by their  maker.

*  If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be  vague.

*  If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was  probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is  simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth  at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand  on.

*  Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and  dance.

*  Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep  late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When  everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.

*  Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you  live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may  also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun  to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some  are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some  have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to  live in the same box.

*A  truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a  detour.

Life is short...and I am enjoying every moment of it.
Sometimes good experiences come and go, quicker than you would have expected. Yes, we all would love to relive, relish, and try very hard to revive it. But time waits for no man, and we make the best of what is given to us. Be thankful that bad experiences would probably be as quick to go. And for me, I always believe that the best is yet to come, so I will always be looking forward to tomorrow.

Don't watch

Watching these videos just wished you could do more for them. Where is our government?
S$389mil spent on some Youth Olympics where 80-90% of the world doesn't give a fark. Even if 100% of the world watches, so what? For what glory are we trying to achieve? I'd spend my last taxpayers' dollar making sure all Singaporeans are indeed as you claim. I seldom spit, but for your statement...I would hold you for it.

Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports, Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, said:

“If you were a poor person, anywhere on this planet, Singapore is the one place where you will have a roof over your head, where you will have food on the table. Even if you can’t afford it, we will have meals delivered to you.”

What do you want from me?

Have you taken the red pill?

Wrote a super long story for a fellow blogger who seem to be feeling the heat from just being herself and supporting a just cause of voting for politicians only if they are worth it and not just for the sake of opposing. But have decided not to publish it. I rather sit down with her and her naive friend and have a friendly discussion instead if they decide to take up my offer.

Dancer teaching Wing Chun

Joker. Facts :

He performed in many Dance Productions in NZ and also Directed and performed his own Dance Theater Productions in Singapore at the Substation Theater. He has over 20 years experience as a dancer and choreographer. He has a diploma in Contemporary Dance from the Perfoming Arts.

I don't know about you, but I love to fight, watch fights and also can tell when a joker should remain dancing and stop trying to make $ off martial arts beginners at fitness centres and giving Chinese Martial Arts a bad name.

iPad 2?

Not sure if this is really from Apple folks but it's hilarious...but damn it. They make me rethink about wanting a Moto Xoom.

Greatest Mockery of Giving

Minister in Latin comes from the word Servant - Someone who serves others.

While in Singapore, they don't actually just give/serve. They take. Literally 8 months bonuses, and mind you..this is despite the fact that we have the Worlds' most expensive civil servants...all 30 of them.

A CRITICISM by opposition MP Low Thia Khiang on the increased salary estimates of political appointment holders drew a firm response from Deputy Prime Minister Teo Chee Hean yesterday.

Mr Teo reminded him that the salary structure of top public sector officials - which includes ministers and top civil servants - was debated and approved by Parliament in 2007.

Mr Low welcomed it at the time, and 'should not be surprised' now.

Source ST.

So they inflate the GDP using Foreigners then pay themselves 30% more and ask that lesser mortals wait patiently for 10 years to get our 30%. A ruse?

So perhaps 2 more election terms for them to keep earning "golden peanuts" before we have our Egypt situation?

Love DPM Teo's respond to LTK- Mr Teo reminded him that the salary structure of top public sector officials - which includes ministers and top civil servants - was debated and approved by Parliament in 2007. Mr Low welcomed it at the time, and 'should not be surprised' now.

Back in 2007 PAP held >90% majority despite only winning 66% of total votes. WTF can anyone do, seriously? Soon they can pass any laws and say the citizens welcome it and we can't do shit about it...haha the greatest mockery is a huge percentage of Sillyporeans do not see or think about this "Cheaper, betterest, productive" calls from the Labour Minister with floodgates opened to low depressed competitive wages from foreigners who do not have local kids/mortgage to feed or pay; and they claim we do not want these jobs create by them, and Sillyporeans are nothing but daft whiny choosy folks.

I love Singapore politics akin to having an anal probe without asking for it, because it's good for you and our gahmen knows best.

Greatest Irony of Giving

You all watched Slumdog Millionaire. The greatest irony to giving out $ to beggars is that only when you stop giving, then the kids can start living their childhood. We are doing more harm than good by giving them petty change. So when you next visit impoverished cities or countries, remember to control your charity guilt; you might be doing more harm than good.

Little girl rented out by parents for under S$1000 forced to eat faeces and beg.

How important beer is to the world

You gotta watch all 3 parts of this.

Sad

This is really sad when your supposedly revered leader is now on Google's suggestive death wish list. I am not sure how it works but my Android gives me predictive text based on the most commonly typed search. Sometimes it's best to retire and enjoy life. Stop writing books that pisses people off,or incur other races' wrath which somehow threads thinly on an ISA offence. But then again, he is god in Sillypore; and perhaps why many are wondering when will.... ;)

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Androidified

Hehe just downloaded Androidify from the Android market. That's me trying to be cool 10kg ago!

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Crazy little thing called love

Happy Valentine's day to all my friends. I had a special and wonderful time; be it being surprised, or busy with preparation work...I realised, it's the little things,the crazy, childish, sweet things that make you giggle like a kid again. Finding back your youth,the return to innocence, now that's the fun of being in love. So despite the commercialization of the date,it is still time to enjoy each others company ; be it in a fancy restaurant or just enjoying take-away nasi lemaks, the company is the most important.

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No Strings Attached

Had a chance for preview screening for this show which I thought was a must watch for couples especially on V-day...

Funny and witty and how apt...insights to dating a quack...totally loved it. Oh btw in case you are under 18...go borrow your elder sibling's IC - M(18).

Giving back

Saw a SPC petrol station with a manual car wash facility operated by MINDS,along Telok Blangah Road down from Alexandra towards Vivocity. A big poster says washed by bubbly folks, what a heartwarming catchphrase. Love the SPC gesture to get MINDS folks to contribute to the workforce. Will find a day to try it out!

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Stay white!

Please stay white everyone else...I wanna be the non-conformed cool geek.

Call me old skool

The rustic feel of Everton Road.
Hope there will always be nice old corners of Singapore left untouched or with minimal upgrading; and still bring out a smile when you stroll pass and get fascinated by nostalgic moments.

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Playing dirty

Not sure if you guys have been catching Taiwanese drama serials these days, but it sure beats our own Singaporean productions where the standard seems to be dropping of late. Anyway, a private joke on this drama serial that I am catching right now every evening -hooked on it.
"Do you know the hottest question from auntie to auntie these days is: 今晚有没有做"爱? "

New Year Resolutions

NYE Fireworks on the bay - Marina Bay, Singapore 2011.

Since the mark of self-consciousness developed within, one hardly find the need or will to make any resolutions for new years. Realised that the infantile righteous spirit to improve and better oneself often open the weakened mind to discussions and the possibility of setting purposeless targets. I guess I should just remain a cranky old man who looked vindictive and adamant to changes; yet wield the power to surprise and still be respected.

My supposedly new year resolutions for 2011 is to talk less, be better with time judgement, and articulate better...meaning I need make more allowance for traffic jams or drive faster; practise communication,ace at Taboo yet I cannot talk/interrupt too much. I actually think I need these goals and they will be good, purposeful for me. 

The art of self-awareness is remarkable; the subtle pursuit to the betterment of the lives of people around us seems to fall solely on our shoulders without clamouring that the changes might or have already came at a price. 

I once thought I found a diary which allows one to keep on writing and recording without consequences, then realised it came with a fantastic shorthand secretary that could record my thoughts, feelings, daily happenings etc for me. How wonderful she is - with the ability to spell check, withhold sarcasms, and could even let me know I was doing double entries in the diary. I soon realised I depended too much on her, often talking too much and fell short on my own personal space to think and do more thought-out writings instead of just mouthing off whatever that comes into mind, which sometimes is just juvenile and stupid.

Remember to always retain the soul, be true to yourself, take time to adjust so that in time to come. we all know that life is a journey and we learn from it constantly. Goals are good to have if they are purposeful; like I now strive to lose 10kg before the big date. Love is all about accepting...the good and the bad - they come together.