I need you, and that's all

Recently I had a lot of reflecting thoughts, this usually occurs prior to the new year and reviewing what has been done so far. There is a long post which I wanted to write about, it has so much content, it's been hard trying to write in a way I can get the final message across otherwise it might come across conflicting. It will be blogged for posterity sake and for reflecting maybe in 10 years time. So that's the procrastinating excuse for being slow.

But a short prelude to that impending blog post is that I had the opportunity to chat with my other half and finding out what we want in life. Do we need to live a life based on the number on our paycheck? Does self-worth need to be measure by numbers? We somehow seem to be able to live comfortably here on a single paycheck with no inclinations to compete, to feel inferior from the lack of material wealth. We seem more concern with merely fulfilling our lives enriched with actual things to do, more time to think..to experiment..to explore. Isn't that what life is about? I dread going back to a life when we get caught up in the rat race all over again. I finally understand why over 300,000 Singaporeans choose to never come back though they never gave up the citizenship. For now, this song has been playing on my Nexus 7 paired with my underutilized Hidden Radio - repeat mode.

Hard Knocks

Been wanting to post for a long time, but never having the time or will to complete my thoughts which has been on my mind for a while now. Some days I just want to update on my current busy schedule, travelling a bit for work and home errands. If you follow my other blog, you probably know which countries I have been popping by; and possibly because of that, the blog is gaining traction and views.

Self worth

Been a long time since I blog - I am currently busy blogging about cycling over here. Do drop by to read if you are into cycling.


If I had things going my way, perhaps I would like to be a professional basketball player. But by 25, I started to realise I am not talented enough and I guess that was when my degree kicked in to get a real job.

In just 2 weeks

Just realised in a short 2 weeks since we moved, my wife figured out how to use the washing machine, dryer..without instruction manuals; and figured out how to cook a meal for 2 using a steamer. Now I feel so inadequate in the kitchen and have been banished to doing cleaning up duties. Haha...amazing for a lady who used to burn a brownie she was going to surprise me with when we were dating. I just figured out, how to use the Roomba and if prices of potato chips are cheaper in the Cold Storage opposite our home or NTUC down the road. Time to play catch up!

It is finally completed - Our Home

As the contractor finished putting up my hangers and fabricated my side couch table, and I finished painting some minor touch ups. It is finally done! Slowly the journey begins living in our humble abode with my wonderful wannabe-chef wife and our helpful robot which a buddy bought for our housewarming gift...awesome, I am feeling lazy again with no projects at hand.

Happy Chinese New Year

Yes it is that time again for bah kwa, for pineapple tarts and for friendship...and not forgetting the time for weight gain. Just not too long ago we celebrated New Year and before that Christmas, hardly any chance for enjoying a break from good food and good company. As I get older, I am starting to realise that good company is hard to find. I am starting to get bored. Some reunions or gatherings started to become all too obligated. Not sure why I am feeling like that. Perhaps I am getting older and time is becoming a precious commodity? Or have I been filling my head with more info and out seeking for better advice or better conversations? Life is an every changing process. Some people are meant to drop off; we are suppose to make new friends, meet new people, learn new things. And every one of those experience can be a positive or negative experience. The most important thing is knowing which direction do you want to go. Because the journey is not over till "The Fat Lady sings". Like my driving in a foreign country, often I get lost, make a U-turn or reroute or find a new road to get to my destination and sometimes, it brings happy experiences perhaps a more scenic drive. All in all, you never know what you are going to get, till you make that journey. Good or bad, we have to take it all.

My drive towards Dufftown with my wife as we missed a turn but we saw snow-capped mountains!

Time - carpe diem

Love this tweet. Seriously time is precious and unique in any moment. It's how we treasure and make full use of it. Carpe diem.

Read more here

My real wedding speech

I took a long time to pen my sister's wedding speech from a "protective" brother, and during that unexpected long speech in her NY wedding, I realised it was close to my heart and everyone could relate to it. But for my very own, I was too busy, too tied up and too nervous that I never found the right time and right settings to write a good speech for my wife, my family, my in-laws and my friends who have been just fabulous throughout my journey in life.

Taken in our Vienna suite

It has been said that a journey is best measured in friends rather than miles. I have been lucky to have a horde of good, no, great friends. Through my many ups and downs, I remembered who was there for me to go through the sorrows, and through the best of times. So it was that selected 10 brothers, that I chose to be there with me during my happiest period. Though I really did not want to trouble anyone, I knew they were sincerely happy for me. My nature of not wanting to trouble anyone as much as I could and do everything on my own, gave way to wanting to share my joy with them and of course, giving them the chance to "do me in" during my wedding night as payback to what I have inflicted on them during their wedding night, though they did already have many stag nights in my name. I'm glad they had their fun and I had the chance to experience being completely blacked out waking up with some form of short term amnesia for about 5 hours.

Now moving on, I would like to thank my family especially my parents who have been steadfast in their love for me over the years. Their many forgetful moments, their many embarrassing shortcomings; would never take away the fact that they have been the best parents one could have. My father's 'kan cheong' nature often pushed me to be punctual, hardworking, yet never taking life head on without learning to enjoy it. My mom's perfectionist nature required me to be seizing life everyday yet I have to take care of my health with countless concoctions of bittergourd, cinnamon, vitamins etc. She also taught me to be generous, to be thoughtful yet never having to back down and let someone take advantage of me, I guess they molded me into somewhat the person I am today. I am thankful and I hope I can finally say I am an adult now, so take a seat and let me take care of you two now, but the cooking is still up to both of you..until I have my own kitchen or my wife miraculously learned how to cook over the next few months.

And next on the thank you list would be my in-laws, who have brought up my wife to be in many ways perfect in my eyes. Though my mother-in-law often cautioned me about her daughter's "imperfections" and to wary of her in many ways. But somehow I guess that's what strict and good parents' do, always pushing their kids to be the best and that's why I have such a wonderful wife. Thank you Papa, Mummy, I will do my best to take care of her now.

My wife, often so busy especially at work and now studying for her exits; actually left me totally in charge of the wedding though she would adopt the supervisory role - giving approving and disapproving looks or commands. But that goes to show that she is often so understanding despite our busy schedules and never needing to extend the ball and chain when the chain is somehow long enough for me to go for basketball nights, whiskey nights etc. Maybe it's because she is so busy or perhaps she is ever so trusting and knows where I am and who I am with. In that many ways I think she is indeed perfect - perfect that I never feel the need to change her besides the fact that she often self-medicates and I'd have no say in it. She is capable, smart, pretty and in many ways ideal to our lifestyle, or my lifestyle - without the need to change much besides the list her friends made me promise during gatecrashing - that is a whole different story.

My wife somehow can understand me without me speaking coherently, more often she knows exactly what I am about to say. Somehow in my finite world, I finally understood what they meant by soul mates. Through infinite possibilities, the future I was waiting for - finally came. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for marrying me.

Thank you all for coming to share with us our joys and our path of a hopeful, infinite happiness. Have a great evening.

Buddies

As I start the big countdown, I realised that besides adversities, even through joy we can find out who are our true friends. It is often easier said than done that friends who stood by you when you are down are your best friends, friends you can count on. But lately, I find it even harder to find friends who are truly happy for you, and who share your joy with you.

I am glad to know I have lots of great friends who share my joy and have always been there for me. They say life isn't complete without friends, I am glad I have many great  buddies. Now all I wish is that they will spare me and I am truly sorry I was damn happy for their wedding and thus they got dead drunk and the toilet bowl was their best friend for their big night. :P

I stand corrected

The feeling of being wrong is terrible. It's worse when it brings about fear in others. No one can be 100% cock sure about everything, not even if you have an IQ of 180 or have so far possess a 100% track record. Is that possible? Even our well-esteemed Minister Mentor God stands corrected for statements made in his latest book - Hard Truths.

There is this analogy about how if one fell into an open sea and if there are possible sharks lurking around, one should stop moving and remain calm. The open seas akin to our political world and the oppositions are like sharks sensing fear in the water and once the blood is spilled, an entire army will follow. Confidence is everything even if we are wrong, just deny everything.

That explains why we never have statements like I am sorry I was wrong about floods which come only once in every 50 years or I apologise for losing billions of our taxpayers monies. But instead we have, I stand corrected or it was an honest mistake, let's move on.

There has to be a reasonable explanation into why some decisions are made and ended up badly. But should we then have to explain everything? Would it be hard to make any decisions at all; or would it end up worse once confidence in others have been shook? This appearance of being strong possibly came about when one has been living in an ivory tower or has been in power for far too long.

If we acknowledge the fact that noone is perfect and we all are allowed to make wrong decisions, it might be easier to swallow and let live. Some national policies or even a house purchase might fall short of perfect. One can never know of the timing, one can never be cock sure about everything. That is how fallible mere mortals are. We are not Gods, and even Gods make mistakes. There is why we have to acknowledge why it is necessary to have a 2-party rule. Democracy is necessary in our government, and even more so in our daily lives. Perhaps sometimes, we have been happily living in our own ivory tower by ourselves for far too long; sometimes we forget that someone of equal or even higher calibre exists and comes along. We have to learn to consult, to draw an optimal between too much or too little consulting so as to make reasonable quick decisions on important issues akin to government decisions being made on a national level in Singapore compared to let's say USA which has too many layers of approvals needed. Obama has to fight through the Senate, the Congress, the House of Representatives; Supreme Courts, Federal Courts etc... It might take years just to implement policies to tackle social reforms which is much needed now.

Democracy doesn’t only have to be about big things, it can be about small things too. And I acknowledge Team A doesn't know everything and I welcome Team B into my life..the beginning of a beautiful albeit a possible tumultuous journey. I stand corrected.

Note to self - 3

It's been a long time since I found some words meaningful to daily living.


Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of  life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some  days you're the statue.

*  Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat  them.

*  Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
Recalled by their  maker.

*  If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be  vague.

*  If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was  probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is  simply to be kind to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth  at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand  on.

*  Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and  dance.

*  Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep  late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When  everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.

*  Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you  live.

* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may  also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun  to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some  are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some  have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to  live in the same box.

*A  truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a  detour.

Life is short...and I am enjoying every moment of it.
Sometimes good experiences come and go, quicker than you would have expected. Yes, we all would love to relive, relish, and try very hard to revive it. But time waits for no man, and we make the best of what is given to us. Be thankful that bad experiences would probably be as quick to go. And for me, I always believe that the best is yet to come, so I will always be looking forward to tomorrow.

Fabulous

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my friends in 2011...
2010 started with a bang from a buddy's wedding...and it has been an amazing ride every since.

2010 has been kind to me, with a new journey started and right now 2011 seems like another awesome year ahead.

Party on into 2011 and embrace the unknown gleefully because the hand I am holding on...seems suited and comfortable.

The journey begins

Looking back and it is analogous to a shipwreck washed up onto the shore, the devastation from life couldn't be far worse as we pick up pieces of the wreck and try to live again.Slowly but surely, we find ourselves back; we find motivation to grow, to learn, to mature. It might sometimes take up to 40 lives/experiences to know what you really want, and possibly a million others of what-ifs; but all we really needed was just one to make it just right. Then suddenly you realise, all the "bads" that has happened...happened for a reason. And the reason makes one value what has happened and glad that it happened.... This is the journey of life.

When you find that elusive one amongst the vast what-ifs, your mind takes on a new perspective. From embracing all the past "bads" that has happened, and turning them into preparation; from finding the courage to take on the challenges to be that brave man (with proper upbringing - 家教) who wins the fair lady; from picking up a wreck piece and start to build that ship again with solid rock foundation to set sail into the sun. The journey and experiences were all tough, but it's worth every single effort and somewhat sweetens the deal.
The project engineer finally met the toughest challenge he has so far, and is glad to have survived it, now onto the fun bit!

Apathy

Let's say there is a major catastrophe which takes out all communication lines, internet, news feed or if like BBC decides to axe off it's Myanmar office due to budget cuts.

THE BBC World Service could face drastic budget cuts that may force it to withdraw from Myanmar, a move that critics fear would be a 'gift to the military junta', a report said on Wednesday. 'The World Service is a steady, credible voice in parts of the world where the only other messages blend threats and propaganda,' he told the paper. 'Scrapping the World Service in Burma would be a gift to the military junta, and an insult to political prisoners locked in Burma's jail for no crime.'

Does this mean that the occurrence of events/crimes/disasters etc did not happen? The need for coverage, reporting or "marketing" brings about awareness to the people. But how important is that? What if the people stop reporting or worse - the viewers stop caring?

Does the absence of constant reminders of affection, care and concern take away the love for the event (famine, floods,genocide etc) or the person (minorities, tribes, survivors etc)? Does it dwindle in importance?

Take that altruistic purpose aside and bring it closer to individuals - does it mean if the person is incapacitated, paralysed or in a coma; perhaps just being tight up with work or having a terrible day - does our concern/love slowly dissipate?

Time is becoming very important to everyone despite all the multi-tasking, all the convenience of technology. No longer do we need to walk for miles to meet families and friends for dinner (drive, train, cabs), no longer do we need to buy a pen and paper and put a stamp on it to send a post card or letter (Emails, MMS). No longer do we need to find a pay phone to call and say "Hi, how's life been?" (Twitter, Facebook, Blogs). I feel somehow the convenience and time saving really takes away the appreciation of things around us. We no longer work for things that really matter, and take the time to really care and appreciate. Irony of having more time is akin to having more money but not happiness.

I drove a long way to appreciate this chasm

Somehow from the chasm of life - reality bites and we see it everyday. Apathy is growing everyday and slowly we lose our soul and finally our mind...

A few friendly reminders

Post-It Notes should be filled with such friendly reminders from time to time - make sense and worth remembering:


Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does!
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Forgive everyone for everything.
Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
The best is yet to come.

Kicking Ass

Was catching this movie a couple of months back - KickAss starring Nicolas Cage. And with Mika coming into town, I thought it was appropriate to share this MTV.
Anyway finally got back to Wing Chun after a 2 months hiatus. This time round, I've changed location and learning the Cho Ga Wing Chun, which is a deviated form of Wing Chun, which we do not see in the movies from Ip Man 1,2 and upcoming more movies dedicated to Hong Kong-styled Wing Chun instead. For more information on Cho Ga Wing Chun it is found here - Ban Chung Zheng Dan Kam Cho Ga Wing Chun.

There are many Wing Chun classes in Singapore, springing up in interest due to the onslaught of Wing Chun movies. Clearly marketing helps in all things even martial arts. Well, I do hope this will not be a 5-min interest to all who are currently seen packing the classes. It is always good to learn martial arts for self-defense as well as for keeping in check - discipline and health.

Martial arts can be classified into close range or long range, defensive or offensive. After completing Tae Kwon Do for over 10 years, it is decided that I should choose a reactive close range combat to complement longer range defensive TKD fighting styles. Also because I can't jump anymore; and Wing Chun is really for all gender and all ages.

I am currently learning from Sifu Ken Lau who's lineage is from Ip Chun, son of Ip Man. (Yup the kid who rode a bicycle in Ip Man 1, and passing on Mom's message to Dad to start fighting or else everything in the house would break). Sifu Ken Lau is one of the very few certified Wing Chun instructors here in Singapore teaching both the Hong Kong Ip Man and the China Cao Family (Cho Ga) Wing Chun system. The class schedules can be found here. And his arms are rock solid and fist is probably bigger than some of the students' faces. Hope I can maintain the classes over the next few decades. Martial Arts is a form of combat and art, and together with science, body and mind - it can be very interesting; and it helps to kick asses or prevent your ass from being kicked!

Sweet Comfort Food

Sweet

Comfort Food

Love hanging out at Coffee Club these days and their White Parfaits is just awesome;

and love the even more unhealthy, oily calamari and onion rings at Fatboys @ Upper Thomson.

Thanks to all my close friends for that great impromptu quiet supper til my "+1" day.

Life has really been great lately despite late night conference calls til 5am.

So many things have happened since end Feb and I am starting to see why things happened the way it has, and somehow life is full of surprises - fate is a peculiar and very interesting thing.

Once upon a time...

Do you believe in fairy tales?

Don't Worry, Be Happy

So got my Canon issue resolved, apparently the technician changed a setting during calibration and forgot to change it back. Probably was rushing off to celebrate Chinese New Year. Anyway, just a little happy news to share especially for usually chirpy folks.

Researchers at Columbia University rated the happiness levels of more than 1,700 adults in Canada with no heart problems in 1995.

After a decade, they examined the 145 people who developed a heart problem and found happier people were less likely to have had one.

Source: AP and European Heart Journal.

Being contented

Some people strive to have everything to be happy. While others claim that by not having anything, you will live happier. Hubbard once said, "It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed." Well, I guess it is better to be sad when you are rich then when you are poor.

Here is an article which highlighted the fact that we can be happy if we are contented and have a better quality of life, be positive even if it means earning 75% less and if one can no longer afford the lifestyle one use to live, no cars, no fancy big houses. Do we really need those material things we are working for now?

The other article I would like to share is about being charitable and his acts brought about how civil servants should be. He made me understood the meaning I found in the bible "Blessed is he that considereth the poor." and this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson - "The greatest man in history was the poorest."

Source. South Korean President Lee Myung-Bak, who rose from childhood poverty to the top office, has donated 33.1 billion won (26 million dollars) – 80% of his personal fortune to a fund for needy students. Since he took office in February 2008, President Lee – an elder with a Presbyterian church has also donated his monthly presidential salary of 14 million won to low-income households.

His acts are admirable, something I find missing from my country of highest paid civil servants in the world. And the watered down effect is obvious from observing the people around us as the income gap widens year after year.

"I yearn for this country to be a country where we care for one another." - South Korean President Lee.

Think hard what's going to happen to the Singapore we live in now, and think even harder - do you even care?

"If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich."
- John F. Kennedy

Kennedy's quote is akin to Confucious's.

"In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of."