Sunday, April 06, 2008

Jokes for singles on a lazy Sunday!

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Hi...
Woman: Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.

Man: If I were to rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Woman: Yeah?! Well, if I were to rewrite the alphabet I would put F and U together.

Ok ok...seems like the woman is winning...here's some great comeback lines..


A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."
The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said, you look fat in those pants."


Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: Fine with me, I don't care where you go after we're done in the car.


Ok here's for those Chinese New Year/Family gathering moments (thank me later)

Top 10 answers to questions like theses: "Why aren't you married yet?" or "Why are you still single?"

Ans#1: I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
Ans#2: What? And spoil my great sex life?
Ans#3: Because I just love hearing this question.
Ans#4: Just lucky, I guess.
Ans#5: I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
Ans#6: I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Ans#7: I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
Ans#8: My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
Ans#9: We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.
Drum roll....Ans#10: Oh you have not met Jane/James yet? (single ladies pls use Jane, James for single men)

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