Woken up by my best friend for breakfast, I was unable to get back to sleep. The sleep that I needed, with all the unsettledness in my head, as I get more and more weary from the elections. Friends are telling me it's only an election, why get so worked up...but in my humble opinion, I feel it's not just an election this time round and perhaps I am taking it harder than I should as the opposition have given it - all or nothing. But this is about the future of my country, the future of my 'future' children's lives, shouldn't I be more concerned? So here pens my heartfelt feelings I have been having for the longest time...pardon my grammatical errors as my English language has remained in the doldrums for quite some time.
Last night I had a major quarrel with my wonderful girlfriend who was an apolitical Singaporean trying her best to make sense of it all during this General Elections. Her courage to be involved, to understand, to read up and to even generate feelings about the need to be less apathetic despite her busy schedule, seem to stem from my disgust on the prospect of her voiding her vote. This once in a blue moon phenomenon of being able to vote somehow meant to me more than many others around me. Many friends have shown disgust they have over the brutal Facebook news feed from their friends, including myself, who seemed to be caught up in the new 'coolest' activity of attending rallies and posting up political blogs biased against the incumbent ruling party. They seem to think they know better, or that they have better things to do then to bother about this once in every five years event. But that's exactly the problem we have, many have no longer felt the need to decide on things, we are all fine being spoon fed the news we all 'should' read. My one vote wouldn't and shouldn't count for anything.
Since primary school days, I was taught to read the newspapers. My parents taught me that I need to be kept abreast with the current affairs, to be aware of what's happening around us, to sing my National Day songs proudly and to take heed of our well-esteemed then-Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew - that is why I chose to become an engineer, taking heed of our PM's vision. My parents never taught me to seek an alternative view, never to go search for the truth, but as obedient citizens with subservient attitudes growing up studying, working hard and always to toe the line and be afraid of the big scary police man. The search for the Singapore dream was as wonderful as the American dream for many abroad in the 90s. To own a home in my country, to be prideful of our Number 1 Airport, efficient port and spanking clean subway system as well as our national service which I have dutifully done for 2.5 years and the ongoing NS reservist of up to 40 days a year. Because in my younger days I remembered my dad coming home in green fatigues and I want to be just like him, serving my nation. The sense of pride somehow seem to be eroding over the past 5-10 years.
My recent in-camp-training in Feb revealed fellow Singaporeans' unhappiness. Over the need to come back to serve while their jobs are on the line, fighting with foreigners who do not have obligations that take them away for up to 40 days a year. I am sure many of my civil service friends should have no problems with that, having 'understanding' employers. But for me, an American firm with my HR based in HK, I had a hard time trying to convince my American bosses that I am needed to defend Singapore. Yet I will finish my work as I rushed home after reservist working from dinner til 2am during my reservist period and driving back to camp at 6am the next day. It's like I was never gone from work, just 12 hours late. Oh and my leave application has to be filed under Jury duty.
The fear of losing my job to a foreigner without such obligation grows stronger as America is going through a transformation to shed expensive employees even if they are true blue US citizens, in order to meet nice Wall Street numbers to shore up the stock prices. I left my last employer, also an American company who did just that - cost cutting despite making record profits, that is the hard fact of being in the semiconductor manufacturing industry. That's the stress me and my fellow industry colleagues have to deal with, the feeling of being dispensable; and that drives us to work harder, be more efficient and knowing what our bosses wants...on the fly. I ran out of movie theatres to receive my US calls, I hid in toilets, left friends' weddings, gatherings to hold conferences which goes from 10pm - 3am. That is the hard truth of Singaporeans working harder and longer hours. Is that not enough? This Singapore dream somehow appears very different from the ideas I've conjured up when I was 21, embarking on my tertiary education. Perhaps I am in the wrong line? Perhaps...
I am not a xenophobic and even more so less of a racist. I need to get that off my chest, seriously. I recently had a big quarrel with my best Indonesian-ex Singapore PR-now Australian buddy who flew in to visit his Singaporean fiancée and for a job interview. He was calling me a racist, and it hurts. It hurts because I was only trying to help. The background is that he was trying to find a job here back in Singapore, after giving up a good job 10 years ago while he was a Singapore PR. He had to leave because the Australian government forced him to make a choice, you come back here or you lose your PR. My friend studied in Singapore for close to 10 years, he studied in Australia for less than 5. But somehow he knew the life in Australia is more appealing and PR status was harder to get. Well to cut the long story short, he is now an Australian citizen, why not a Singaporean citizen instead though he has more friends here, that decision was his. And the advice which sparked it all was that it's no longer easy to get a well paying job here in Singapore. We now need to compete globally as our government introduced many 'talents' here and the ease of getting work permits or PR is astounding and I went on to say even Singaporeans have hard time looking for decent paying jobs which can help pay off 'affordable' housing and the cost of living here. Well, he has a house mortgage back in Australia to pay off, and I believe the salary range that he seeks, might be tougher than it seems. Luckily for him, his freehold house in Australia costs less than some of our public housing HDB here in Singapore. Anyway I wish him all the best.
The stark reality is our foreign immigration policy is straining everyone, and it's making every Singaporean here, who name calls Ang Moh or Ah Tiongs, seem so racist and it's creating a bad image for Singapore. Last night I attended a WP's rally in Serangoon. I see Singaporeans of all races on the field and in the stands, I see a lone Indian man waving the WP flag as Low Thia Khiang makes his speech in Chinese, patiently waiting for some word he could understand so that he can clamour upon and wave this flag harder. I see the wave of Chinese Singaporeans quietly listening to Mohd Faisal make his speech in Malay for a good 5-10 mins and yelling in agreement when he switches to English. Singaporeans are not naturally racist, noone is. We are warm hearted people who chose to donate millions after millions in NKF funds, in Suzhou earthquake funds and even for Japan in the recent Tsunami/Earthquake disaster. Simple minded some would call us, but we are warm hearted people in general. We have all become angry not with the people but with something else. What else? I believe we all know better.
My hairdresser is a Chinese, picky as I am (I've had about 5 hairdressers in my over three decades of hair growth and I pray for at least two decades more), I am a perfectionist and this lady is considered talented in my humble opinion. I would drive 20km all the way to Bedok South just to get my $4.50 hair cut, knowing the petrol would cost more than my haircut. Usually if I am not rushing for time, I would ask her to wash my hair so I can pay her $15 to justify her 'talent' in making me look like a Korean pop star...(my girlfriend agrees). My mechanic is a Malaysian, he is humble and brilliant with my engine. Very often I would buy him green tea as he works on my difficult ride and often slip $10 into his hand as he only charges me $10 for oil change and helps me check on my other issues in that hour of servicing. I too deemed him as a talent despite him being considered as a blue collared worker. I have very good friends on and off the basketball courts, I have colleagues whom I work hand in hand with, resolving balls-cracking issues, many of whom are Malaysians, Filipinos, Swiss, Irish, Americans, Indians, Chinese, Hongkongers etc. I find each and everyone of them talented in their own ways and I thank them all for contributing to our country.
But the problem here is not them, the problem here are the policies affecting not just Singaporeans but also foreigners alike. Those who are renting here, they also face the increasing rental costs, the same kopi we drink, the same chicken rice we eat, the same squeezy MRT and buses we take. We are all affected. I have had many friends (foreigners or Singaporeans) leaving Singapore because it's just too expensive or the standard of living has somewhat degraded from the elusive/promised Swiss standards. We need our government to build enough flats, enough road capacities, enough transportation before they open the floodgates. The longer time to get to work, is affecting not just Singaporeans, it's affecting everyone else. The unnecessary frustrations are getting to everyone. Rich or poor, the jams, floods or increasing cost of living gets to everyone on this island. I have helped out in orphanages, in old folks homes and even in soup kitchens for foreign worker manned by rich tai tais and retired uncles who have the time..These volunteers even face public lashback on why we are helping these foreign workers and not fellow Singaporeans. Calls at night screaming at them...but these foreign workers are also humans who have been hurt by our government policies. I am sad and ashamed to say my life has been filled up with work and house searches, I have recently stopped going to help. But I try my best to contribute in other ways.
The policies implemented forced families to move to parks only to be forced into homes away from public scrutiny without the freedom to go out to find work or beg. The casinos have in the short period of operation, have caused broken families, gamblers to jump off buildings with their family members..etc. Yes they could have easily lost the same amount in cruise ships or a trip up to Genting Highlands or even illegal gambling houses located all over the island. But to open a casino in our backyard is standing for something else altogether. Our government policies have left many wondering what has improved for the past 5 years, why are carrots suddenly popping out all over the island except Tanjong Pagar? This gerrymandering has to be illegal in some sense? Yes I know this is how politics work, but is this how a 'first world' nation is suppose to be? Sad to say, don't be naive. Noone will roll over and die, and we cannot expect the ruling party to just get up and go, and let the opposition take over their seats. Fact of the matter is we now see how competition is necessary, how the fear of losing has got many to admit their mistakes and trying their best to please the people, how a multi party system can only work to the benefit of the people.
The stigma of being labelled opposition is terrible in Singapore, the waving of a NSP or WP flag can only happen in rallies, but once we move out of our comfort zone we get ostracised. It's like the only color that can exist in Singapore is white. Is political diversity a need or a want? Why can't we all respect each others decision and agree that we are all pro-Singaporeans? Sadly to say, we have a long way to go as a nation. And that is why I am feeling less and less proud to be a Singaporean.
To sum up, we all have our choices in life, some choose to not rock the boat, some choose to be happy campers and sit on the fence, some choose to be radicals, some choose to void their all important votes. I should stop being an ass and let everyone decide for themselves, as long as they have considered all factors. To each their own...in a crossroad, we all decide our fates. I just hate to say 'I told you so' after the election. Oh and for my supposedly 'friends', please don't call me a hypocrite just because I still empathise with people around me, or that I am doing well because I work hard for it/I am talented/I totally deserve it and I get freebies. These are two separate matters.
In the end, I agree with Mr Chen Show Mao's short but 'co-driver smacking' worthy speech last night. Take heart, have courage and use your head. Decision is all yours, just make sure it's your decision and you have made all the educated considerations.
