Deep Thoughts

The past couple of weeks has been lots of resting and spending time with my family and relatives over Chinese Lunar New Year. I wanted to blog about being called a lesser mortal by a MP; I wanted to blog about being called a bacterium. Judging from feedbacks I got from the status and links I have posted on my facebook profile, I bet it would be an interesting blog entry. But then again I suspect the bacterium-calling-New Paper article was written by an old school friend and I think its best to sit on the fence on that.

I just got back my well-missed bicycle after hiding it away in my huge locker room further down the road since Nov when my sister was back for a visit. Besides gaining alot of weight during this long period of not cycling I have lost all focus and reflections which I do when I go cycling. So I got on my bike and search for time alone to think and reflect on the past happenings lately.

On a side note, I want to digress that blogging is great, it is a means to showcase our individual thoughts and opinions and indeed it is stupid to regulate or even charge to be able to blog (in relation to the Association of Singapore Bloggers fiasco). Its just plain stupid if I need to pay to write in my diary, but saying this. Unlike a personal diary, which is often laid to rest in some hidden corner, locked away in some drawer, unseen by prying eyes. A blog well, it is open to the world. Of course you can put a password to it, but then what's the point of blogging? Sure you can send out invites to people you want to read, but then again it makes no point of it being opinions and thoughts if its limited to whom can read it, its like writing love notes to friends who are approved to pass it along. Totally senseless. Most people blog so that it can be mass read. And perhaps try to profit from it. My reason for blogging besides for free booze which most have known, is so I can make a footprint in this vast Universe. But be cautious in what you blog and who it can affect on a personal level. Normally I blog general issues which will not harm anyone, not even Greater mortals!

"Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow..." - Lawrence Clark Powell

And this issue of being anonymous, what's the problem? My friends know who I am, and I don't give a f#$% if I am just a statistic or if you give a s#$% about my opinions.
Seriously, the 2 reasons why I try to make my blog as senseless as it is, and the anonymity of not posting my name is in case with the crisis unfolding, I might eventually be working for a GLC or the Singapore Gahmen and no way I am going to risk shutting down my online crap box. Secondly, which is more important, I like my kick ass avatar/nick/moniker which I have kept since I got my shoe back in the mid 90s.

Ok time to get back on track for my deep thoughts which I have made recently. I reflected on the person I am and the person I was and the person I want to be. I recently got a chance to kidnap some less fortunate kids and spend some time with them, and I realised how much I like kids. Back in the Uni days, I enjoyed going to help out at a children's home. Besides the fact I get torn apart knowing them and realising how lost a kid can be without proper family upbringing. It shook my very foundation of dating and the fact that I need to slow things down - look at what I really want. I have a habit of moving too fast, which I get reprimanded by my closest friends and their wives. Seriously, this is not a "I like fast car, fast women" thing that I think I am guilty of. But I tend to be a passionate person, but a past issue has caused me to change to person I used to be. Trust is a stupid thing, like lending money to a friend, only to lose that friend. I rather be making excuses to not lend money, so that I can keep that friend. I trusted and made a terrible mistake back in 2007 and for 2009 I decided to slow things down but again this has caused dire consequences as I found like money its hard to take back what you have given.

So I guess like money I need to make excuses not to lend or in this case not to give.
And like today's banks, I need to set criteria and conditions on who I can lend to. The worse thing is...I am a tough complicated bank to deal with. I don't do no minibonds.