Was watching this 7pm drama on Channel 8 tonight, and related it with a conversation I had with my colleague today over lunch and realised sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut.
This "Fire Butterfly" literally translated from Mandarin, not sure what is the Ang Moh name for this HK serial. This lady lost her baby because of some greedy 3rd mother-in-law, yes the Father-in-law has 3 wives! And the show displayed rich tai tais with nothing to do engaging in home politics for the attention of the "Emperor".
So she wanted to find the truth and in the midst of it, wanting revenge, she just told the truth and people all around died from this truth which really has nothing to do with her. Finger pointing came about and her husband and everyone else blames her and I just don't understand what did she do wrong? Why did they not blame the greedy bitch cum mother-in-law?
And as to how akin it is to my lunch conversations with a colleague who happens to be a staunch Presbyterian and very nice person? Well she asked me why sometimes I get so agitated or passionate when it comes to talking about social politics and why I am always finding fault and looking to the greener pastures. I agree with her, every country has its faults and good points. And it really depends on how what we want in life-freedom of speech vs security; "poorly paid" civil servants vs an "uncorrupted" and "apparently efficient" government etc...the list goes on. I guess I have discussed this before. Do we consider this whining or knowledge sharing or just mere casual conversations which perhaps might lead to a little actual thinking?
I feel that many out there do not know what is happening in the world around us today. Everyone is more caught up in they own pretty little world which lost its "no man is an island" definition. I guess who is to blame for wanting to be selfish and just minding your own business. But when I pose a discussion topic over coffee over the weekend with my college female friends who did not know about the latest Public Order Bill which define 1 person as an assembly. Strangely the girls actually cared and asked for more information as they do not want to be arrested for distributing flyers one day and decided that they need to read more. But I bet $10, that when the day is over, they have more to care about office politics and family issues than what goes on in our parliamentary discussions.
I guess most people think that we have a good system which will allow them to just mind their own business and things will always be perfect. So in this case, is it my fault to my colleague that I read more about social and political affairs of the state? And being more open to the truth and sharing with friends is now some sort of a whine? And it is not the fault of those who choose to be ignorant to pretend that bliss will follow? How about the fault of those who allow the system to be the way it is right now, all biased and in one direction. Even if parliament one day passes a bill which says all inheritance after death goes to the state, I bet there will be no furor to prevent it from going through and that till you die, perhaps you expect your younger generation to go fight and claim for what is rightfully theirs.
Just as we now let the world die through blatant wastage from bad designs to greed to just mere carelessness, its every man for himself and someone else will take care of the litter you create, the mess you left, the ignorance to allow the truth to be zipped up because you enjoy that silence.
Sometimes the truth hurts and actions with good intentions or at no fault of yours becomes a liability and thus a good person seemingly becomes a bad one. So we should all just keep our mouth shut. As Austin Powers would have said: "Zip it!".
I shall just care about my own tiny life and let everyday pass by without a noise and enjoy my wonderful family and friends, and indulge in an occasional single malt whiskey which come in nice intricate wooden boxes in Asia's most liveable city with a unbelievable low tax rate!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Female species
I don't know what's the fuss about all this AWARE takeover bid shit that is going on in the new and state media these days, there is so much coverage, it precedes over bigger issues which have seemingly taken a backseat in this current climate.
Seriously, why lump it together with it being religious and gay? Another classic case of Singaporean women not being able to lead. I won't be surprised if they hire an ang moh to take over eventually.
Seriously, why lump it together with it being religious and gay? Another classic case of Singaporean women not being able to lead. I won't be surprised if they hire an ang moh to take over eventually.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A better life
Shamelessly stolen from Shane of MyLifeInaCube.com
Just read this post of a Chinese University Student's outtake on dating and settling down with Chinese men. She decided instead to look towards the west and marrying ang mohs for a better life. Something which I guess Singaporean ladies are already famous for being SPGs.
But seriously who is to blame them. Even in Singapore we have our grouses. Young couples who want to get married and if they are typical fresh graduates trying to set up a family. They will be endowed with hefty 20-30 year housing loans because our nation's "subsidised" housing costs S$300-700k alone. My Malaysian ex-colleagues have often wondered how we can survive or retire in Singapore. His monthly maintenance and expenses for 3 cars and his "freehold" bungalow and 3 persons at home at most costs him S$500 and that is extravagance living. His move back home is because of the recent manufacturing retrenchments in Singapore and there is no way he can survive alone on $500 in Singapore.
Thinking about being stuck in a mortgage, and if you want a car, a 5-7 year loan will further strip you bare of savings. Further insights with a friend who is in the education sales line shows that he has to scrimp and save for his child's education and even mere expenses to bring his family out for a evening of basketball would have cost him his monthly utility bill of ~$240; which to me looks scarily high! I live with my parents and my father's constant grumbling of $300-500 monthly utility bills was now a reality. Seriously if you do your sums of mortgage and a car loan, and par it with anywhere else in the world, you realised why we are now the 10th most expensive city in the world!
We are enslaved in poverty even though we thought armed with an education and a decent paying job, we can get by. Our world class lifestyle is often envied by many tourists and expats but little they know that most citizens are crippled with mortgage loans and possible high medical costs in our retirement age which can wipe us out of our savings anytime. These sort of enslaved mentality could only stiffen our souls and limit our creativity. This is all seemingly too medieval, where in the ancient times of farmers or lower caste peasants are dictated by royal pricks as they do not own the land they live, they are merely loaning them or tending to the farms. And strangely it all seems so familiar, perhaps just packaged into 99-year HDBs, ERPs and GSTs to collect the $...and now I know why we are called lesser mortals.
Also with many people just living day to day with worries for just putting food on the table, you are effectively not thinking...about anything. Seriously, do you think Singaporeans really know what is happening in the world today? Are they concerned with what is being debated in the parliaments? I have friends who walked past the Singapore President without knowing who he was, just wondering why a black guy has so many people surrounding him like he was Brad Pitt. And mind you, my friends are mostly armed with "world class" education.
We are in the situation caused by the result of our own actions. We decided on the life we want, we are driven by the lack of knowledge. Spoon fed local degrees are not exactly an education. Do they really know what is out there? Instead of looking out into the stars and wondering if there is life on other planets, I guess I should start looking for a better life overseas. Do my peers know the rat race they are running in is taking place in a cage?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Brush with media
Apparently I was on the news 3 months ago. Tried to avoid speaking to the press (knowing how they always twist and turn), and did not realise it did come out. I am glad I was not misquoted, but then again technically I did not speak in Mandarin. Excerpt:
俱乐部会员Lennie（32岁）从俱乐部网站看到活动招募通知时就马上答应参与，这可是第一次有小孩子乘坐他的跑车。
他说：“看到小孩子脸上的笑容，觉得很开心也很欣慰。如果有机会的话，我一定会再参加这个有意义的活动。”
Video clip of the event in Mandarin.
Hahah...seriously it was fun and more car clubs should get involve with trying to make the world a better place.
More coverage here.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Insights to a stealing heart
I often wonder why people like to steal another person's love.
This is an insightful piece from Osho worth sharing...starts with a question by a student on why he is only interested in married women but the reply as with most of Osho's replies evolves into a delving into the jewels of life..love, women, relationships.
The disciple asks, "WHY AM I ALWAYS INTERESTED IN MARRIED WOMEN?"
There is nothing special about it, it is a very common disease which exists in almost epidemic proportions. But there are reasons to it.
Millions of people, both men and women, are more interested in the married person. First, the unmarried person shows that nobody has yet desired him or her; the married person shows that somebody has desired him. And you are so imitative that you cannot even love on your own. You are such a slave that when somebody else is loving somebody, only then can you follow. But if the person is alone and nobody is in love with them, then you are suspicious. Maybe the person is not of worth, otherwise why should he or she wait for you?
The married person has great attraction for the imitator.
Secondly, people love less – people, in fact, don’t know what love is – they compete more. The married man... and you become interested. Or the married woman... and you become interested – because now there is a possibility to compete. The triangular fight is possible. The woman is not easily available. There is going to be struggle.
In fact, you are not interested in the woman, you are interested in the struggle. Now the woman is almost a commodity. You can fight for her and you can prove your mettle. You can displace the husband, and you will feel very good – an ego trip; it is not a love trip.
But remember, once you succeed in disposing of the husband, you will not be interested in the woman any more. You want to prove yourself against the man. ’Look, I have taken interest in the unmarried woman now? Again you will start looking for some fight somewhere: you will always make it a triangle. This is not love.
In the name of love there is jealousy, there is competition, there is aggression, there is violence. You want to prove yourself. You want to prove yourself against the man: ’Look, I have taken away your woman.’ Once you have taken away the woman, you will not be interested in the woman at all, because she was not the desired thing; the desired thing was a sort of victory.
I have heard...
A certain prominent businessman lost his wife, and the funeral became a public occasion. All the dignitaries of the town attended. and almost all were known to the bereaved. There was, however, a stranger, and he seemed more upset than anyone. Before the funeral was over, he broke down
completely. The widower-husband asked ’Who was this weeping stranger?’
’Ah’ whispered someone ’didn’t you know? He was your late wife’s lover.’
The bereaved moved across to the sobbing man, patted him on the back, and said ’Cheer up, old boy, cheer up. I shall probably marry again.’
Beware. To fall in love with a married woman or a married man is a disease. Look for reasons. It is not love. There is something else working behind your mind, in your unconscious. Another thing: the married woman is not easily available. That too creates desire. Easy availability kills desire. The more unapproachable, the more inaccessible the woman is, the more the desire; you can dream about her. And, in fact, there is not much possibility that it will ever become an actuality. There is every opportunity to be romantic about a married woman: you can play with your fantasy.
It is not easy to make her available to you. You are not interested in unmarried women because they will not leave much chance for romance. If you are interested, they are ready. There is no space left. There is not that long, long waiting. Many people are interested not in love but in waiting; they say that waiting is far more beautiful than love. In a way it is so, because while you are waiting you are simply projecting, you are dreaming.
Of course, your dream is your dream and you can make it as beautiful as you want.The real woman is going to shatter all your dreams. People are afraid of the real woman. And a married woman becomes more unreal than real. The same is the case with a married man: he is far away. There is not much possibility that he will really enter into a love-relationship with you.
I have heard...
A young man went to a very wise old man, and the young man said ’I am lovesick, sir. Can you help me?
The wise man thought, and he said ’There is only one cure for love, and that is marriage. And if marriage cannot cure it, nothing can cure it! If you get married, you will be cured. Never again will you think about love!’ Yes, marriage cures it so certainly, so absolutely, that if marriage cannot cure love, then nothing can cure it. Then you are incurable. It is good to fall in love with a married woman because then there is no possibility of cure; you remain lovesick.
There are people who enjoy their lovesickness tremendously: weeping. crying, waiting, fantasizing, poeticising, reading, writing poetry, painting, making music – all substitutes.
The real woman is dangerous. The real woman only looks musical from far away. Come close, and she is a REAL woman. She is not a fairy, not a fiction. Her reality will have to be reckoned with. And when a woman comes close to you, not only is she real, but she brings you down from your ivory towers to the earth. In all the cultures of the world, woman is represented as the earth and man as the sky.
The woman is very earth-bound; she gravitates towards the earth. She is more earthly than man, more practical, more pragmatic than man. That’s why you don’t find great women poets, you don’t find great women painters, or great women composers, no. They don’t fly in the sky so much. They grip the earth, they penetrate the earth with their roots and stand there like strong trees.
Man is more like a bird. When man becomes married, the woman brings him also to the earth. To the practical world. Poets don’t like to be married. They always want to remain in love, they don’t want to cure that sickness.
People fall in love with a married woman – this is a halfway house, it is a trick. They can believe that they are in love and they can avoid it also. Love creates great fear because love is a challenge, a great challenge. You will have to grow. You cannot remain juvenile and immature. You will have to grapple with the realities of life. Your so-called great poets are almost always very childish immature people still living in the fairyland of childhood.
They don’t know what reality is; they don’t allow the reality to penetrate into their dreams. A woman is a sure destroyer of fictions. She is not fictitious, she is a fact, a truth. So if you want to believe that you are in love and you still want to avoid love, it is good, safe, to fall in love with a married woman or a married man. This is very tricky, this is a deception, a self-deception. Women are also afraid to fall in love with a free man, because with the free man or free woman there is involvement – a twenty-four hour involvement.
With a married woman the involvement is not that big. You can have a few stolen kisses, you can meet her somewhere in a dark corner – always afraid that the husband may be coming, somebody may see. It is always half-hearted, it is always in a hurry, and you don’t come to know the woman as she is in her twenty-four hour life. You come to know only her painted face, you come to know only her performance, not her truth. When a woman comes out of her house ready to go shopping, she is not the same woman. She is almost a different person. Now she is a managed woman, now she is a performer. In the house they don’t look so beautiful. Out of the house they suddenly become tremendously beautiful, joyful, cheerful. delighted. They again become small, giggling girls in love with life. Their faces are different, radiant. Their eyes are different; their make-up, their performance.
Seeing a woman on the beach, or in the shopping centre, you are seeing a totally different kind of reality. To live with a woman twenty-four hours a day is very mundane – it has to be. But if you really love a woman, you would like to know her reality not her fiction, because love can exist only with reality. And love is capable enough of knowing the reality and yet being able to love her, of knowing all the defects and yet being able to love her. Love is a tremendous strength.
When you are with a person twenty-four hours a day man or woman – you come to know all the defects: all that is good, and all that is bad too; all that is beautiful, and all that is ugly too; all that is like light-rays, and all that is like dark night. You come to know the whole person. Love is strong enough to love the other, knowing all the defects, limitations, frailties that a human being is prone to.
But this fictitious love is not strong enough. It can only love a woman on the movie screen. It can only love a woman in a novel. It can only love a woman in poetry. It can only love the woman as a faraway, distant star. It can only love a woman who is not real.
Love is a totally different dimension. It is falling in love with reality. Yes, reality has defects, but those defects are challenges to growth. Each defect is a challenge to transcend it. And when two persons are really in love, they help each other to grow. They look into each other; they become mirrors to each other: they reflect each other. They help each other; they hold each other. In good times, in bad times, in moments of happiness, in moments of sadness they are together, they are involved –that’s what involvement is all about.
If I am only with you when you are happy and I am not with you when you are unhappy this is not involvement, this is exploitation. If I am only with you when you are flowing, and I am not with you when you are not flowing – then I am not with you at all. Then I don’t love you, I love only myself and I love only my pleasure. ’When you are pleasurable, good; when you become painful I will throw you away.’ This is not love, this is not involvement, this is not commitment. This is not respect for the other person.
It is easy to love somebody else’s wife because he has to suffer the reality and you enjoy the fiction. It is a very good division of labour. But this is inhuman. Human love is a great encounter. And love is only if growth happens out of it, otherwise what type of love is it?
Lovers are enhanced by each other – in every way. Lovers reach to higher peaks of happiness when they are together, and they also reach to the deeper depths of sadness when they are together. Their range of happiness and sadness becomes vast – that’s what love is. Alone, if you cry and weep, your tears don’t have much depth. Have you watched it? Alone, they are shallow. When you weep together with somebody then there is a depth, a new dimension to your tears. Alone you can laugh, but your laughter will be shallow. In fact it will be something insane – only mad people laugh alone. When you laugh with somebody there is a depth in it, there is sanity in it.
Alone, you can laugh, but the laughter will not go very deep, cannot go. Together, it goes to the very core of your being. Two persons together, together in all the climates – day and night, summer and winter – in all the moods, grow. The tree needs all the climates and all the seasons. Yes, it needs the burning-hot summer and it needs the ice-cold winter.
It needs the daylight, the sun showering on it, and it needs the silence of night so it can close into itself and go into deep sleep. It needs silent, cheerful, joyful days; it needs gloomy, cloudy days too. It grows through all these dialectics.
Love is a dialectic. Alone, you cannot grow. Remember always that if you are in love then don’t avoid commitment, don’t avoid involvement. Then go totally into it. Then don’t just stand on the periphery ready to escape if things get too troublesome.
And love is a sacrifice too. You have to sacrifice much... your ego. You have to sacrifice your ambition, you have to sacrifice your privacy, you have to sacrifice your secrets; you have to sacrifice many things. So just to be in a romantic love needs no sacrifice. But when there is no sacrifice there is no growth. Love changes you almost utterly: it is a new birth. You are never the same person again as you were before you loved a woman or a man. You have passed through fire, you are purified. But courage is needed.
You ask: WHY AM I ALWAYS INTERESTED IN MARRIED WOMEN?
Because you are not courageous. You want to avoid the involvement. You want it cheaply, you don’t want to pay the price for it.
Osho
This is an insightful piece from Osho worth sharing...starts with a question by a student on why he is only interested in married women but the reply as with most of Osho's replies evolves into a delving into the jewels of life..love, women, relationships.
The disciple asks, "WHY AM I ALWAYS INTERESTED IN MARRIED WOMEN?"
There is nothing special about it, it is a very common disease which exists in almost epidemic proportions. But there are reasons to it.
Millions of people, both men and women, are more interested in the married person. First, the unmarried person shows that nobody has yet desired him or her; the married person shows that somebody has desired him. And you are so imitative that you cannot even love on your own. You are such a slave that when somebody else is loving somebody, only then can you follow. But if the person is alone and nobody is in love with them, then you are suspicious. Maybe the person is not of worth, otherwise why should he or she wait for you?
The married person has great attraction for the imitator.
Secondly, people love less – people, in fact, don’t know what love is – they compete more. The married man... and you become interested. Or the married woman... and you become interested – because now there is a possibility to compete. The triangular fight is possible. The woman is not easily available. There is going to be struggle.
In fact, you are not interested in the woman, you are interested in the struggle. Now the woman is almost a commodity. You can fight for her and you can prove your mettle. You can displace the husband, and you will feel very good – an ego trip; it is not a love trip.
But remember, once you succeed in disposing of the husband, you will not be interested in the woman any more. You want to prove yourself against the man. ’Look, I have taken interest in the unmarried woman now? Again you will start looking for some fight somewhere: you will always make it a triangle. This is not love.
In the name of love there is jealousy, there is competition, there is aggression, there is violence. You want to prove yourself. You want to prove yourself against the man: ’Look, I have taken away your woman.’ Once you have taken away the woman, you will not be interested in the woman at all, because she was not the desired thing; the desired thing was a sort of victory.
I have heard...
A certain prominent businessman lost his wife, and the funeral became a public occasion. All the dignitaries of the town attended. and almost all were known to the bereaved. There was, however, a stranger, and he seemed more upset than anyone. Before the funeral was over, he broke down
completely. The widower-husband asked ’Who was this weeping stranger?’
’Ah’ whispered someone ’didn’t you know? He was your late wife’s lover.’
The bereaved moved across to the sobbing man, patted him on the back, and said ’Cheer up, old boy, cheer up. I shall probably marry again.’
Beware. To fall in love with a married woman or a married man is a disease. Look for reasons. It is not love. There is something else working behind your mind, in your unconscious. Another thing: the married woman is not easily available. That too creates desire. Easy availability kills desire. The more unapproachable, the more inaccessible the woman is, the more the desire; you can dream about her. And, in fact, there is not much possibility that it will ever become an actuality. There is every opportunity to be romantic about a married woman: you can play with your fantasy.
It is not easy to make her available to you. You are not interested in unmarried women because they will not leave much chance for romance. If you are interested, they are ready. There is no space left. There is not that long, long waiting. Many people are interested not in love but in waiting; they say that waiting is far more beautiful than love. In a way it is so, because while you are waiting you are simply projecting, you are dreaming.
Of course, your dream is your dream and you can make it as beautiful as you want.The real woman is going to shatter all your dreams. People are afraid of the real woman. And a married woman becomes more unreal than real. The same is the case with a married man: he is far away. There is not much possibility that he will really enter into a love-relationship with you.
I have heard...
A young man went to a very wise old man, and the young man said ’I am lovesick, sir. Can you help me?
The wise man thought, and he said ’There is only one cure for love, and that is marriage. And if marriage cannot cure it, nothing can cure it! If you get married, you will be cured. Never again will you think about love!’ Yes, marriage cures it so certainly, so absolutely, that if marriage cannot cure love, then nothing can cure it. Then you are incurable. It is good to fall in love with a married woman because then there is no possibility of cure; you remain lovesick.
There are people who enjoy their lovesickness tremendously: weeping. crying, waiting, fantasizing, poeticising, reading, writing poetry, painting, making music – all substitutes.
The real woman is dangerous. The real woman only looks musical from far away. Come close, and she is a REAL woman. She is not a fairy, not a fiction. Her reality will have to be reckoned with. And when a woman comes close to you, not only is she real, but she brings you down from your ivory towers to the earth. In all the cultures of the world, woman is represented as the earth and man as the sky.
The woman is very earth-bound; she gravitates towards the earth. She is more earthly than man, more practical, more pragmatic than man. That’s why you don’t find great women poets, you don’t find great women painters, or great women composers, no. They don’t fly in the sky so much. They grip the earth, they penetrate the earth with their roots and stand there like strong trees.
Man is more like a bird. When man becomes married, the woman brings him also to the earth. To the practical world. Poets don’t like to be married. They always want to remain in love, they don’t want to cure that sickness.
People fall in love with a married woman – this is a halfway house, it is a trick. They can believe that they are in love and they can avoid it also. Love creates great fear because love is a challenge, a great challenge. You will have to grow. You cannot remain juvenile and immature. You will have to grapple with the realities of life. Your so-called great poets are almost always very childish immature people still living in the fairyland of childhood.
They don’t know what reality is; they don’t allow the reality to penetrate into their dreams. A woman is a sure destroyer of fictions. She is not fictitious, she is a fact, a truth. So if you want to believe that you are in love and you still want to avoid love, it is good, safe, to fall in love with a married woman or a married man. This is very tricky, this is a deception, a self-deception. Women are also afraid to fall in love with a free man, because with the free man or free woman there is involvement – a twenty-four hour involvement.
With a married woman the involvement is not that big. You can have a few stolen kisses, you can meet her somewhere in a dark corner – always afraid that the husband may be coming, somebody may see. It is always half-hearted, it is always in a hurry, and you don’t come to know the woman as she is in her twenty-four hour life. You come to know only her painted face, you come to know only her performance, not her truth. When a woman comes out of her house ready to go shopping, she is not the same woman. She is almost a different person. Now she is a managed woman, now she is a performer. In the house they don’t look so beautiful. Out of the house they suddenly become tremendously beautiful, joyful, cheerful. delighted. They again become small, giggling girls in love with life. Their faces are different, radiant. Their eyes are different; their make-up, their performance.
Seeing a woman on the beach, or in the shopping centre, you are seeing a totally different kind of reality. To live with a woman twenty-four hours a day is very mundane – it has to be. But if you really love a woman, you would like to know her reality not her fiction, because love can exist only with reality. And love is capable enough of knowing the reality and yet being able to love her, of knowing all the defects and yet being able to love her. Love is a tremendous strength.
When you are with a person twenty-four hours a day man or woman – you come to know all the defects: all that is good, and all that is bad too; all that is beautiful, and all that is ugly too; all that is like light-rays, and all that is like dark night. You come to know the whole person. Love is strong enough to love the other, knowing all the defects, limitations, frailties that a human being is prone to.
But this fictitious love is not strong enough. It can only love a woman on the movie screen. It can only love a woman in a novel. It can only love a woman in poetry. It can only love the woman as a faraway, distant star. It can only love a woman who is not real.
Love is a totally different dimension. It is falling in love with reality. Yes, reality has defects, but those defects are challenges to growth. Each defect is a challenge to transcend it. And when two persons are really in love, they help each other to grow. They look into each other; they become mirrors to each other: they reflect each other. They help each other; they hold each other. In good times, in bad times, in moments of happiness, in moments of sadness they are together, they are involved –that’s what involvement is all about.
If I am only with you when you are happy and I am not with you when you are unhappy this is not involvement, this is exploitation. If I am only with you when you are flowing, and I am not with you when you are not flowing – then I am not with you at all. Then I don’t love you, I love only myself and I love only my pleasure. ’When you are pleasurable, good; when you become painful I will throw you away.’ This is not love, this is not involvement, this is not commitment. This is not respect for the other person.
It is easy to love somebody else’s wife because he has to suffer the reality and you enjoy the fiction. It is a very good division of labour. But this is inhuman. Human love is a great encounter. And love is only if growth happens out of it, otherwise what type of love is it?
Lovers are enhanced by each other – in every way. Lovers reach to higher peaks of happiness when they are together, and they also reach to the deeper depths of sadness when they are together. Their range of happiness and sadness becomes vast – that’s what love is. Alone, if you cry and weep, your tears don’t have much depth. Have you watched it? Alone, they are shallow. When you weep together with somebody then there is a depth, a new dimension to your tears. Alone you can laugh, but your laughter will be shallow. In fact it will be something insane – only mad people laugh alone. When you laugh with somebody there is a depth in it, there is sanity in it.
Alone, you can laugh, but the laughter will not go very deep, cannot go. Together, it goes to the very core of your being. Two persons together, together in all the climates – day and night, summer and winter – in all the moods, grow. The tree needs all the climates and all the seasons. Yes, it needs the burning-hot summer and it needs the ice-cold winter.
It needs the daylight, the sun showering on it, and it needs the silence of night so it can close into itself and go into deep sleep. It needs silent, cheerful, joyful days; it needs gloomy, cloudy days too. It grows through all these dialectics.
Love is a dialectic. Alone, you cannot grow. Remember always that if you are in love then don’t avoid commitment, don’t avoid involvement. Then go totally into it. Then don’t just stand on the periphery ready to escape if things get too troublesome.
And love is a sacrifice too. You have to sacrifice much... your ego. You have to sacrifice your ambition, you have to sacrifice your privacy, you have to sacrifice your secrets; you have to sacrifice many things. So just to be in a romantic love needs no sacrifice. But when there is no sacrifice there is no growth. Love changes you almost utterly: it is a new birth. You are never the same person again as you were before you loved a woman or a man. You have passed through fire, you are purified. But courage is needed.
You ask: WHY AM I ALWAYS INTERESTED IN MARRIED WOMEN?
Because you are not courageous. You want to avoid the involvement. You want it cheaply, you don’t want to pay the price for it.
Osho
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
It is time - Carpe Diem
Shared from a courageous friend who is living his life the way he wants it.
Life is short
Break the rules
Forgive quickly
Kiss passionately, love truly
Laugh constantly
And never stop smiling
No matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be
But as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.
The girl in the video clip is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21 . Her fiancé, Nick is 23 and is in love with her since the 11th grade (16 years old). Their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US. Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours a day receiving medication.
Katie died five days after her wedding day. Watching a women so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think..... Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last. We should stop making our lives complicated.
After watching this video, I realised that though I often say Carpe Diem ~ Seize the Day, I am nothing short of a procrastinator where I have a tee shirt that goes, Procrastinators Unite!...Tomorrow.
So life is short, embrace it like it's going to slip away from you anytime.
Life is short
Break the rules
Forgive quickly
Kiss passionately, love truly
Laugh constantly
And never stop smiling
No matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be
But as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.
The girl in the video clip is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21 . Her fiancé, Nick is 23 and is in love with her since the 11th grade (16 years old). Their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US. Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours a day receiving medication.
Katie died five days after her wedding day. Watching a women so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think..... Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last. We should stop making our lives complicated.
After watching this video, I realised that though I often say Carpe Diem ~ Seize the Day, I am nothing short of a procrastinator where I have a tee shirt that goes, Procrastinators Unite!...Tomorrow.
So life is short, embrace it like it's going to slip away from you anytime.
Price to pay
Is oppression a price to pay for stability and peace?
Are you willing to be muted in order to live safely?
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act, as the destroyer of liberty. Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of the word liberty; and precisely the same difference prevails today among human creatures. - A.Lincoln
When liberty is taken away by force it can be restored by force. When it is relinquished voluntarily by default it can never be recovered. - Dorothy Thompson
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. - M. Scott Peck
Are you willing to be muted in order to live safely?
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act, as the destroyer of liberty. Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of the word liberty; and precisely the same difference prevails today among human creatures. - A.Lincoln
When liberty is taken away by force it can be restored by force. When it is relinquished voluntarily by default it can never be recovered. - Dorothy Thompson
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. - M. Scott Peck
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Quote of the month
Will be travelling every month if budget holds. So probably will blog less now. A quote for the month.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."Lewis B. Smedes
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Handsome Suit
I just went to catch this Japanese movie with a group of friends, called "Handsome Suit". It is similar to the Hollywood movie Shallow Hal back in 2001.
I think there is a great moral behind the story and it is really funny, so everyone should go watch it!
The thing about this movie, is that it was very apt as we discussed this over a hotpot dinner where a couple was trying to introduce this "ugly" shy friend of theirs to one of the girls. He was apparently very rich, and technically if she marries him, she can confirm be tai-tai. But why doesn't she want? First of all, I think it is a lot more than $ to attract. Secondly, perhaps she should give that "ugly" guy a chance. I told her to stop calling her friend "ugly", and use the word unattractive instead. Because to me, ugliness comes to mind in the form of something more than skin deep since someone with a heart of gold can't be ugly...
Friends always think that I am shallow because I have good looking girlfriends. Aren't they all judgemental? I never let a pretty girl cut my queue, but I would gladly open a door for ladies, irregardless of how they look, because it is the right thing for all men to do. I am a difficult person, complicated with many factors which can turn me off like a light switch. And these girls have all nice non-physical attributes which attracted me to be with them. Like in this movie, there was a pretty woman trying to make an ugly man fall in love with her. Do you think he gave her a chance? No spoilers for those who have yet to catch it.
First of all, I don't think anyone should fall in love with a person because of physical attributes. We cannot deny that physical attractiveness is what brings you closer to the person, before you start to know the person. But what holds the person, is inner beauty. People change and especially attitude towards someone you used to like or so claimed you love'd, might change when perhaps you no longer find her "beautiful".
My kind and wonderful friends have tried to pair me up with so many girls, I almost have lost count going on the dates, #27??? From scientists to stewardess, many are great, wonderful, smart and even rich ladies, some are very pretty, prettier than the girlfriends that I used to have, but somehow they never appealed to me. So why is that so? I believe fate has a part, just as in the show where the girl fell in love with the ugly guy over just one moment in time. But I felt that, that is not all that is needed to make things work - they need to match each other. In one of the lines: "I am the happiest when I am with you." I think that defines everything - Happiness. But then again, sometimes you never know when you are the happiest, until you lose it.
I hope I did not spoil anything for those who are planning to catch the show, as it is really funny and people should all look past physical attributes and know why you like or love the person you are with or are possibly thinking of being with. Ask yourself, why do you love her? If you can strip down the fact that if she grew old, fat and ugly, would you still hold her hands? I, myself am guilty of this that I once shun a girlfriend whom came to find me in University. She was possessive and often came to find me at school and I realized I was scared to be seen with her, why? I wasn't sure anymore, but obviously not because she was old, fat or ugly. But at least now I know it wasn't love. Indeed I was young and naive and have let down many girls. I do hope everyone of them find someone they truly love.
I think like in the movie, everyone should not see things with a biased heart and blinkered eyes. Stop and ask yourself then ask him or her this question, before you start on something magical : "Why do you like me?"
But then again, we live in the world where by our sales and marketing people are all usually attractive; private and personal bankers are also well dressed to the nines. Looks is everything, who wants to see an ugly face? Seriously, how can people change overnight?
I think there is a great moral behind the story and it is really funny, so everyone should go watch it!
The thing about this movie, is that it was very apt as we discussed this over a hotpot dinner where a couple was trying to introduce this "ugly" shy friend of theirs to one of the girls. He was apparently very rich, and technically if she marries him, she can confirm be tai-tai. But why doesn't she want? First of all, I think it is a lot more than $ to attract. Secondly, perhaps she should give that "ugly" guy a chance. I told her to stop calling her friend "ugly", and use the word unattractive instead. Because to me, ugliness comes to mind in the form of something more than skin deep since someone with a heart of gold can't be ugly...
Friends always think that I am shallow because I have good looking girlfriends. Aren't they all judgemental? I never let a pretty girl cut my queue, but I would gladly open a door for ladies, irregardless of how they look, because it is the right thing for all men to do. I am a difficult person, complicated with many factors which can turn me off like a light switch. And these girls have all nice non-physical attributes which attracted me to be with them. Like in this movie, there was a pretty woman trying to make an ugly man fall in love with her. Do you think he gave her a chance? No spoilers for those who have yet to catch it.
First of all, I don't think anyone should fall in love with a person because of physical attributes. We cannot deny that physical attractiveness is what brings you closer to the person, before you start to know the person. But what holds the person, is inner beauty. People change and especially attitude towards someone you used to like or so claimed you love'd, might change when perhaps you no longer find her "beautiful".
“Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.”
“It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.”
My kind and wonderful friends have tried to pair me up with so many girls, I almost have lost count going on the dates, #27??? From scientists to stewardess, many are great, wonderful, smart and even rich ladies, some are very pretty, prettier than the girlfriends that I used to have, but somehow they never appealed to me. So why is that so? I believe fate has a part, just as in the show where the girl fell in love with the ugly guy over just one moment in time. But I felt that, that is not all that is needed to make things work - they need to match each other. In one of the lines: "I am the happiest when I am with you." I think that defines everything - Happiness. But then again, sometimes you never know when you are the happiest, until you lose it.
I hope I did not spoil anything for those who are planning to catch the show, as it is really funny and people should all look past physical attributes and know why you like or love the person you are with or are possibly thinking of being with. Ask yourself, why do you love her? If you can strip down the fact that if she grew old, fat and ugly, would you still hold her hands? I, myself am guilty of this that I once shun a girlfriend whom came to find me in University. She was possessive and often came to find me at school and I realized I was scared to be seen with her, why? I wasn't sure anymore, but obviously not because she was old, fat or ugly. But at least now I know it wasn't love. Indeed I was young and naive and have let down many girls. I do hope everyone of them find someone they truly love.
I think like in the movie, everyone should not see things with a biased heart and blinkered eyes. Stop and ask yourself then ask him or her this question, before you start on something magical : "Why do you like me?"
But then again, we live in the world where by our sales and marketing people are all usually attractive; private and personal bankers are also well dressed to the nines. Looks is everything, who wants to see an ugly face? Seriously, how can people change overnight?
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Number one
You know how Singapore loves to be #1, over the years we have chalked up quite a lot of number ones especially #1 in airport, port handling, the first night safari, etc.
So I believe we should give our leaders a break...he is sacrificing himself to give Singapore another #1!
Annual salaries in USD
1. Lee Hsien Loong - Singapore Salary in dollars - $2.47 million
2. Donald Tsang Yum-Kuen - Hong Kong Salary in dollars - $516,000
3. Barack Obama - United States Salary in dollars - $400,000
4. Brian Cowen - Ireland Salary in dollars - $341,000
5. Nicolas Sarkozy - France Salary in dollars - $318,000
6. Angela Merkel - Germany Salary in dollars - $303,000
7. Gordon Brown - UK Salary in dollars - $279,000
8. Stephen Harper - Canada Salary in dollars - $246,000
9. Taro Aso - Japan Salary in dollars - $243,000
10. Kevin Rudd - Australia Salary in dollars - $229,000
You think he really want all that money? So much $ cannot bring to the grave also what...I doubt he has time to spend it. But then again, his kids can spend it for him. Damn it I think I should take up that sacrifice so that I can buy my kid a ferrari on his 18th birthday! Don't mind being crucified for it!!
Footnote:
For those who like numbers, I bet you added up all the leaders to see if LHL = other 9 leaders, well I did! Almost there 2.875mil vs 2.47mil. Taking away Obama will do the trick, LHL = 8 leaders. By the way we should never compare Obama with LHL. The analogy would be totally wrong with paying peanuts for monkeys-it should be overpaying for donkeys with golden peanuts. Another possible number crunching scenario. Add up all the ministers and government employees alone in PM Office, we might be able to afford to hire all the leaders in the world!
So I believe we should give our leaders a break...he is sacrificing himself to give Singapore another #1!
Annual salaries in USD
1. Lee Hsien Loong - Singapore Salary in dollars - $2.47 million
2. Donald Tsang Yum-Kuen - Hong Kong Salary in dollars - $516,000
3. Barack Obama - United States Salary in dollars - $400,000
4. Brian Cowen - Ireland Salary in dollars - $341,000
5. Nicolas Sarkozy - France Salary in dollars - $318,000
6. Angela Merkel - Germany Salary in dollars - $303,000
7. Gordon Brown - UK Salary in dollars - $279,000
8. Stephen Harper - Canada Salary in dollars - $246,000
9. Taro Aso - Japan Salary in dollars - $243,000
10. Kevin Rudd - Australia Salary in dollars - $229,000
You think he really want all that money? So much $ cannot bring to the grave also what...I doubt he has time to spend it. But then again, his kids can spend it for him. Damn it I think I should take up that sacrifice so that I can buy my kid a ferrari on his 18th birthday! Don't mind being crucified for it!!
Footnote:
For those who like numbers, I bet you added up all the leaders to see if LHL = other 9 leaders, well I did! Almost there 2.875mil vs 2.47mil. Taking away Obama will do the trick, LHL = 8 leaders. By the way we should never compare Obama with LHL. The analogy would be totally wrong with paying peanuts for monkeys-it should be overpaying for donkeys with golden peanuts. Another possible number crunching scenario. Add up all the ministers and government employees alone in PM Office, we might be able to afford to hire all the leaders in the world!
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Morals
Markets need morals - British PM says.
The world's economic system needs reshaping to reflect global values, UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown said.
Seriously, words like unsupervision, accountability, transparency is long overdued.
The world has enough problems dealing with crooked and corrupted greedy high paying officials, business leaders, bankers. And the state we are in and will be in another 18 months time, I do hope we all have our jobs still. But of course there are rich SOBs out there, with "old" money or big bonuses, please spend more!
The world's economic system needs reshaping to reflect global values, UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown said.
"Unsupervised globalization of our financial markets did not only cross national boundaries -- it crossed moral boundaries, too,"
Seriously, words like unsupervision, accountability, transparency is long overdued.
The world has enough problems dealing with crooked and corrupted greedy high paying officials, business leaders, bankers. And the state we are in and will be in another 18 months time, I do hope we all have our jobs still. But of course there are rich SOBs out there, with "old" money or big bonuses, please spend more!
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