It's been awhile - ass buddies

 It's been awhile since I got back from States...

It's been awhile since I got kids...

It's been awhile since I bought a bigger place...a bigger car...to make space for the bigger things in life

It's been awhile since I tried doing some things for myself...like trying to write and pen out my thoughts, so many frequent thoughts as I drive or fly alone in the past few years.

From losing my uncle a few years ago, who was a close father figure to me, he always made it a point to teach me the finer things in life and never be afraid at work if you are right, hold your ground - things my own father was unable to relate or touch on. At his wake, I found out he was a mentor to many who are now high flyers in many big MNCs. Spoke to many and realised he touched many people's hearts and lives and everyone knew him as a generous person. This set a new perspective in my life.

No more chasing after the work goals, higher titles, no more chasing after a pay scale. Family should be above everything else especially in this pandemic...family and friends. The pandemic has definitely helped to define who's the most important to you- which friends and even which family member.

So after so many life events, I still never got out to set some time to reflect and write - reflect ; yes, write ; not so important. To put off as long as I can and hopefully old age will help erase some of these reflections.

Yet today, I felt a sudden sadness,... a sadness I realise that when someone close to you, been there for you, mean a lot to you suddenly feels sad - I can actually feel the pain and sadness too. Yes the joys of celebrating your friends' successes or accomplishments are typically easy, but when I realised brotherhood encompasses even the sad events... I guess this is life. To find our soul mates in life besides our spouses...I am thankful for having great brothers from another mother...I am fortunate to have so many friends whom I can count on, and equally, I hope I can be counted on as well. Like love between two person, it takes time to build the trust and understanding; brotherhood is also built over time gaining trust and understanding - so much so unspoken words are often the default mode and we feel the joys and pain without saying a word. Like how one buddy of mine likes to call our relationship - ass buddies, or butt cheeks separated by a shit crack. All the shit comes through, we still together.

Be thankful when you meet friends you can call ass buddies for life.

Saw this somewhere on Insta recently and thought it made so much sense now. My best buds have been with me since before I turn 18. Easily about 30yrs of crazy adventures together, before army, before adulthood, before realities set in. That way we know it is all true.

I wish my kids will be lucky enough to make such friendships in life - go find your ass buddies and make it last.

Keep going

I attended a colleague's funeral a month back...it took me awhile to try to get over it. Balling was helpful, and so is the spring weather. Somehow I wished I could have done more, many of my colleagues here in Gresham probably thought so as well. The funeral was full of tears and disbelief and definitely many unanswered questions...Dave, you are missed each time I look at the empty desk beside me. Somehow I wished this video could have made a difference.

Still nothing

I am such a procrastinator....it has already been 2 months and I have yet to pen type out my long awaited blog post about my time living here in the states....haha anyway enjoy this song as much as I have.

I need you, and that's all

Recently I had a lot of reflecting thoughts, this usually occurs prior to the new year and reviewing what has been done so far. There is a long post which I wanted to write about, it has so much content, it's been hard trying to write in a way I can get the final message across otherwise it might come across conflicting. It will be blogged for posterity sake and for reflecting maybe in 10 years time. So that's the procrastinating excuse for being slow.

But a short prelude to that impending blog post is that I had the opportunity to chat with my other half and finding out what we want in life. Do we need to live a life based on the number on our paycheck? Does self-worth need to be measure by numbers? We somehow seem to be able to live comfortably here on a single paycheck with no inclinations to compete, to feel inferior from the lack of material wealth. We seem more concern with merely fulfilling our lives enriched with actual things to do, more time to think..to experiment..to explore. Isn't that what life is about? I dread going back to a life when we get caught up in the rat race all over again. I finally understand why over 300,000 Singaporeans choose to never come back though they never gave up the citizenship. For now, this song has been playing on my Nexus 7 paired with my underutilized Hidden Radio - repeat mode.

Progressing oneself

haha